1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.BZ 2 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.BZ 3 00:01:29,365 --> 00:01:31,298 Why do you interfere. 4 00:01:31,332 --> 00:01:33,610 Jo, why do you fight me? 5 00:01:34,784 --> 00:01:36,337 We're allies. 6 00:01:36,372 --> 00:01:38,788 Patrick, you are a sad, strange little man. 7 00:01:39,237 --> 00:01:40,238 And you have my pity. 8 00:01:46,382 --> 00:01:47,866 Complete and utter shit. 9 00:01:49,316 --> 00:01:51,249 Solid gold shit. 10 00:01:52,250 --> 00:01:56,495 Tugg Speedman. I'm... I'm just not the biggest fan. 11 00:01:56,530 --> 00:01:59,947 A father with money and an idiot with an expensive habit. 12 00:01:59,981 --> 00:02:02,156 The transition from drugs to movie making 13 00:02:02,191 --> 00:02:04,262 has been glorious for us. 14 00:02:04,296 --> 00:02:06,850 The problem with Tugg Speedman movies are his endings. 15 00:02:06,885 --> 00:02:08,611 Well, it's not just the endings. 16 00:02:08,956 --> 00:02:11,648 We even got shortchanged on the nudity. 17 00:02:11,683 --> 00:02:13,719 Esme Presley used a body double. 18 00:02:13,754 --> 00:02:14,789 Hmm. 19 00:02:15,687 --> 00:02:17,378 I've just had a thought. 20 00:02:17,413 --> 00:02:19,691 What do you think if I asked you to present the awards? 21 00:02:19,725 --> 00:02:21,348 Oh, Gabriel, let me stop you there. 22 00:02:21,624 --> 00:02:23,557 I'm not presenting these awards. 23 00:02:23,591 --> 00:02:25,524 Well, that would be a mistake. 24 00:02:25,731 --> 00:02:28,562 A missed opportunity for you, Will the farmer. 25 00:02:29,287 --> 00:02:30,874 It's on brand. 26 00:02:30,909 --> 00:02:34,602 Gabriel, your little festival. It's a low rent nightmare. 27 00:02:34,637 --> 00:02:36,190 Whatever bullshit you've done 28 00:02:36,225 --> 00:02:38,468 to get this accredited by the academy, it's a win here. 29 00:02:38,503 --> 00:02:39,676 Honestly, I don't want to be part of it 30 00:02:39,711 --> 00:02:41,230 when it all goes tits up. 31 00:02:41,264 --> 00:02:42,817 It's all showbiz, Will. 32 00:02:43,335 --> 00:02:45,337 And you are one of the greats. 33 00:02:45,372 --> 00:02:46,545 This is an opportunity that should be 34 00:02:46,580 --> 00:02:47,546 grabbed with both hands. 35 00:02:47,581 --> 00:02:48,858 Gabriel, please. 36 00:02:48,892 --> 00:02:50,446 Please don't bullshit me. 37 00:02:50,653 --> 00:02:51,688 Put on a show, Will. 38 00:02:52,931 --> 00:02:54,208 Razzle dazzle 'em. 39 00:02:55,416 --> 00:02:57,038 It will be you that they'll remember. 40 00:02:57,073 --> 00:02:58,350 I don't want to present an award 41 00:02:58,385 --> 00:03:01,560 to a shit Tarantino wannabe, Tugg Speedman. 42 00:03:01,595 --> 00:03:03,010 Truth is stranger than fiction, Will. 43 00:03:03,044 --> 00:03:04,011 Look, um. 44 00:03:04,045 --> 00:03:05,564 Why don't you stay? 45 00:03:05,599 --> 00:03:10,017 Listen to the key speaker talk and then see how you feel. 46 00:03:10,051 --> 00:03:11,225 Do you know what? 47 00:03:12,295 --> 00:03:13,434 I don't feel well, Gabriel. 48 00:03:13,917 --> 00:03:14,987 It's funny, isn't it? 49 00:03:15,402 --> 00:03:17,714 If you've got a tractor, you're a farmer. 50 00:03:17,749 --> 00:03:19,371 If you don't, you're just a gardener. 51 00:03:19,406 --> 00:03:20,510 Do you know what? 52 00:03:20,545 --> 00:03:22,581 I am not sitting here listening to that. 53 00:03:23,548 --> 00:03:25,515 Oh, 54 00:03:25,550 --> 00:03:27,966 Gabriel? Are you all right? 55 00:04:02,794 --> 00:04:03,829 Hello. 56 00:04:09,594 --> 00:04:11,768 Well hello, Giggles. 57 00:04:11,803 --> 00:04:13,425 I didn't know we were gonna be a threesome tonight. 58 00:04:13,977 --> 00:04:15,703 What's the point in having a phone 59 00:04:15,738 --> 00:04:17,360 if you don't read your messages? 60 00:04:17,395 --> 00:04:18,637 Oh, shit. 61 00:04:18,672 --> 00:04:20,605 Sorry. No, I've been avoiding my dad all day, so. 62 00:04:20,915 --> 00:04:22,917 Urrgh, phone. 63 00:04:23,504 --> 00:04:24,816 I'm breaking up with you. 64 00:04:26,024 --> 00:04:28,026 - Okay. - It's not you. 65 00:04:28,716 --> 00:04:29,821 It's your dad. 66 00:04:31,823 --> 00:04:32,858 Huh? 67 00:04:32,893 --> 00:04:34,343 Not in that way. 68 00:04:34,377 --> 00:04:36,793 Just the way he controls everything you do. 69 00:04:38,105 --> 00:04:39,313 Uh. 70 00:04:39,693 --> 00:04:41,384 I'm waiting for the punch line here, 71 00:04:41,419 --> 00:04:44,007 but I'm sensing it's not coming. 72 00:04:44,042 --> 00:04:47,459 Look... My dad is just my dad. 73 00:04:47,494 --> 00:04:49,392 Like I'm my own boss. 74 00:04:52,050 --> 00:04:54,604 Okay, but that is five unread messages, 75 00:04:54,639 --> 00:04:55,812 which I'm not going to read. 76 00:04:57,158 --> 00:04:58,712 I'm with Giggles. 77 00:04:58,746 --> 00:05:00,058 Caroline. 78 00:05:01,162 --> 00:05:03,648 I thought we were going to make a movie together. 79 00:05:04,442 --> 00:05:06,133 I think we're both done with that. 80 00:05:06,927 --> 00:05:07,962 You know... You know what? 81 00:05:07,997 --> 00:05:09,101 I think I'm just gonna... 82 00:05:25,911 --> 00:05:27,154 Oh, God. Sorry, sorry, sorry. 83 00:05:55,424 --> 00:05:56,701 Dad! 84 00:05:56,735 --> 00:05:57,874 Where have you been? 85 00:05:57,909 --> 00:05:59,738 He's having a heart attack. 86 00:05:59,773 --> 00:06:01,464 Will the farmer? 87 00:06:01,499 --> 00:06:03,466 And a cow jumped over the moon. 88 00:06:03,501 --> 00:06:04,743 No, dad. 89 00:06:04,778 --> 00:06:06,504 Gabriel, everything's gonna be okay. 90 00:06:06,538 --> 00:06:07,436 Alan's here now. 91 00:06:08,540 --> 00:06:09,610 Listen to me, son. 92 00:06:11,232 --> 00:06:12,510 Do you want to make it in his business 93 00:06:12,544 --> 00:06:14,615 or fold shirts at the Chinese laundromat? 94 00:06:15,098 --> 00:06:16,479 Pledge. 95 00:06:16,514 --> 00:06:18,826 Um, how sure are we that this was a heart attack? 96 00:06:19,931 --> 00:06:22,554 Uh, it's not... the film festival. 97 00:06:22,589 --> 00:06:24,142 The film festival goes ahead. 98 00:06:26,247 --> 00:06:27,559 You're in charge. 99 00:06:27,594 --> 00:06:29,250 Gabriel, talk about this at the hospital. 100 00:06:29,285 --> 00:06:30,597 Where is this ambulance? 101 00:06:30,631 --> 00:06:31,874 Ambulance is on the way. 102 00:06:31,908 --> 00:06:32,737 No! Dad! Dad! 103 00:06:32,771 --> 00:06:33,945 Cancel the film festival. 104 00:06:33,979 --> 00:06:35,981 Alan, 105 00:06:36,016 --> 00:06:38,190 I am not willing to donate a kidney, 106 00:06:38,225 --> 00:06:40,572 but I am willing to watch you die slowly 107 00:06:40,607 --> 00:06:41,953 if you're looking for that kind of thing. 108 00:06:42,643 --> 00:06:43,644 Huh. 109 00:06:44,265 --> 00:06:45,508 Um. 110 00:06:45,957 --> 00:06:47,130 Any idea what you're going to do? 111 00:06:47,165 --> 00:06:48,925 Uh, no, no, Will, I don't. 112 00:06:48,960 --> 00:06:50,133 Well, good luck with everything. 113 00:06:50,168 --> 00:06:52,998 Um, Will the farmer to present best picture. 114 00:06:55,000 --> 00:06:56,001 Oh. 115 00:07:13,191 --> 00:07:15,504 ♪ Somebody I'm not 116 00:07:16,021 --> 00:07:19,680 ♪ I don't wanna be somebody I'm not ♪ 117 00:07:20,163 --> 00:07:24,167 ♪ Standing in the shoes of someone I'm not ♪ 118 00:07:24,616 --> 00:07:28,102 ♪ I don't wanna be somebody I'm not ♪ 119 00:07:30,588 --> 00:07:32,693 ♪ Standing in my shoes 120 00:07:33,004 --> 00:07:37,249 ♪ I got this feeling that I'm always gonna lose ♪ 121 00:07:37,284 --> 00:07:41,150 ♪ I guess I know someday I'm gonna have to choose ♪ 122 00:07:41,357 --> 00:07:45,016 ♪ Cause I don't wanna hide away ♪ 123 00:07:45,050 --> 00:07:46,155 ♪ Yeah yeah 124 00:07:47,570 --> 00:07:49,710 ♪ Somebody I'm not 125 00:07:50,331 --> 00:07:53,990 ♪ I don't wanna be somebody I'm not ♪ 126 00:07:54,612 --> 00:07:58,270 ♪ Standing in the shoes of someone I'm not ♪ 127 00:07:58,685 --> 00:08:02,654 ♪ Cause I don't wanna be somebody I'm not ♪ 128 00:08:04,794 --> 00:08:06,727 ♪ Standing in the line 129 00:08:07,279 --> 00:08:11,145 ♪ And never knowing when it's gonna be my time ♪ 130 00:08:11,663 --> 00:08:15,564 ♪ I got so much inside I really wanna shine ♪ 131 00:08:15,771 --> 00:08:19,257 ♪ Cause I don't wanna hide away ♪ 132 00:08:19,291 --> 00:08:20,707 ♪ Yeah yeah 133 00:08:21,777 --> 00:08:24,020 ♪ Somebody I'm not 134 00:08:24,642 --> 00:08:28,197 ♪ I don't wanna be somebody I'm not ♪ 135 00:08:28,853 --> 00:08:32,581 ♪ standing in the shoes of someone I'm not ♪ 136 00:08:32,960 --> 00:08:36,723 ♪ Cause I don't wanna be somebody I'm not ♪ 137 00:08:39,035 --> 00:08:41,935 ♪ So it goes 138 00:08:43,108 --> 00:08:48,182 ♪ Seems like I'm running back 139 00:08:49,321 --> 00:08:52,980 ♪ But, oh you know 140 00:08:53,878 --> 00:08:57,813 ♪ it's like I'm stuck in time 141 00:09:17,108 --> 00:09:19,041 ♪ Somebody I'm not 142 00:09:19,420 --> 00:09:23,010 ♪ I don't wanna be somebody I'm not ♪ 143 00:09:23,045 --> 00:09:27,083 ♪ Standing in the shoes of somebody I'm not ♪ 144 00:09:27,636 --> 00:09:29,776 ♪ I don't wanna be 145 00:09:29,810 --> 00:09:33,296 You know, think I'm gonna faint if we don't eat soon? 146 00:09:33,814 --> 00:09:36,748 There's a Costa, Starbucks back at the station. 147 00:09:36,783 --> 00:09:38,681 I can get those anywhere. 148 00:09:38,716 --> 00:09:42,409 I need authentic Edinburgen food. 149 00:09:42,443 --> 00:09:44,445 I don't know if it's an actual word, 150 00:09:44,480 --> 00:09:46,655 but it is now anyway. 151 00:09:47,828 --> 00:09:51,004 Um, there's a greasy spoon three blocks from here. 152 00:09:52,143 --> 00:09:54,179 Authentic Scottish cafe it says. 153 00:09:54,490 --> 00:09:55,940 Perfect word. 154 00:09:55,974 --> 00:09:57,769 I'm gonna use it in a sentence. 155 00:09:58,080 --> 00:09:59,046 I just did. 156 00:10:05,156 --> 00:10:07,261 Where are all these Scottish brutes have been told about? 157 00:10:09,988 --> 00:10:11,093 You're going to cop a flower pot 158 00:10:11,127 --> 00:10:12,370 if you don't move them trotters? 159 00:10:16,167 --> 00:10:18,997 At her butt. Oh my God. 160 00:10:26,108 --> 00:10:27,143 Are you sure? 161 00:10:27,972 --> 00:10:29,387 Of course. 162 00:10:29,421 --> 00:10:31,251 she's got no reason to lie, has she? 163 00:10:31,734 --> 00:10:33,184 Can we go home then? 164 00:10:33,218 --> 00:10:34,185 Alan's sorting it out. 165 00:10:35,945 --> 00:10:37,326 That can't be good. 166 00:10:42,780 --> 00:10:43,850 Come on. 167 00:10:53,549 --> 00:10:54,757 How's it going? 168 00:10:54,999 --> 00:10:56,759 Uh, a few technical issues. 169 00:10:56,794 --> 00:10:58,519 Uh, but then again, it's an old laptop, 170 00:10:58,554 --> 00:11:00,107 so it probably needs replacing. 171 00:11:00,418 --> 00:11:01,971 She means your dad, Alan. 172 00:11:02,006 --> 00:11:02,800 Oh, God. 173 00:11:02,834 --> 00:11:05,665 Um, yeah, better, I think. 174 00:11:05,872 --> 00:11:08,737 Uh, he left me a three-page text message this morning 175 00:11:08,771 --> 00:11:11,774 that he signed off with, "And don't mess this up." 176 00:11:12,223 --> 00:11:14,881 So, safe to say he's bet the farm on this festival. 177 00:11:16,434 --> 00:11:17,849 It'll be fine. 178 00:11:19,092 --> 00:11:20,334 See, it's working 179 00:11:21,197 --> 00:11:22,509 and gone again. 180 00:11:22,543 --> 00:11:23,855 Mm-hmm, yeah. 181 00:11:27,583 --> 00:11:28,722 He's fucked. 182 00:11:33,554 --> 00:11:34,728 Will. 183 00:11:35,073 --> 00:11:36,834 Gabriel's on the mend. That's good. 184 00:11:36,868 --> 00:11:39,043 Look. Will, I still need a key speaker. 185 00:11:39,077 --> 00:11:40,182 It's check-out time for me. 186 00:11:40,216 --> 00:11:42,909 No, Will, please. I'll give you anything, okay? 187 00:11:42,943 --> 00:11:44,082 I have a kidney you can have. 188 00:11:44,117 --> 00:11:45,325 It's barely been used. 189 00:11:45,601 --> 00:11:48,086 When you get chased by a pack of taxidermists, 190 00:11:48,121 --> 00:11:49,122 don't play dead. 191 00:12:06,311 --> 00:12:08,037 Uh, is there no one here to meet us? 192 00:12:08,244 --> 00:12:09,556 It's fine, we'll just grab a taxi. 193 00:12:11,213 --> 00:12:13,008 Did you not order a car service? 194 00:12:13,249 --> 00:12:15,010 Oh. I'm sorry. 195 00:12:15,044 --> 00:12:16,908 I'll just bung it on my credit card, shall I? 196 00:12:17,978 --> 00:12:19,462 There's no budget for this trip. 197 00:12:22,362 --> 00:12:23,363 Seriously? 198 00:12:31,854 --> 00:12:34,063 Good news or bad? 199 00:12:34,098 --> 00:12:34,788 My father would say this is a challenge. 200 00:12:35,685 --> 00:12:36,617 - So bad then - Yeah, it's not good. 201 00:12:36,652 --> 00:12:38,343 Uh, one of my key speakers has pulled out. 202 00:12:38,378 --> 00:12:39,828 He's got the flu. 203 00:12:39,862 --> 00:12:42,623 One of the criteria for qualifying for an Academy Award 204 00:12:42,658 --> 00:12:46,351 is you must provide at least two key speakers 205 00:12:46,386 --> 00:12:48,146 to tell you movies are good. 206 00:12:49,596 --> 00:12:52,150 All right. Okay. It's fine. Just breathe. 207 00:12:54,014 --> 00:12:55,257 That's it. 208 00:12:55,291 --> 00:12:57,569 Not the first guy to have a panic attack on us. 209 00:12:57,604 --> 00:12:58,985 Look, if my dad doesn't kill me, 210 00:12:59,019 --> 00:13:00,296 Tugg Speedman will. 211 00:13:00,538 --> 00:13:01,850 God was a good movie. 212 00:13:02,091 --> 00:13:03,230 The ending wasn't much, though. 213 00:13:03,265 --> 00:13:06,302 No. His father is paying for the festival. 214 00:13:06,613 --> 00:13:08,442 You know this isn't your fault, right? 215 00:13:08,477 --> 00:13:10,893 Yes, but my dad can make it my fault. 216 00:13:11,169 --> 00:13:13,206 Right, first things last. 217 00:13:13,240 --> 00:13:14,276 What's a key speaker? 218 00:13:14,310 --> 00:13:15,415 Oh, I don't know. 219 00:13:15,449 --> 00:13:17,831 It's got to be an actor or a celebrity. 220 00:13:17,866 --> 00:13:19,315 Someone who can talk about their experience 221 00:13:19,350 --> 00:13:21,007 making movies with the other filmmakers. 222 00:13:27,358 --> 00:13:28,669 Rachel. 223 00:13:28,704 --> 00:13:30,464 Oh, shit. Yeah, Rachel Warren. 224 00:13:30,499 --> 00:13:32,018 Who is Rachel Warren? 225 00:13:33,295 --> 00:13:34,365 Rachel. Rachel. 226 00:13:35,090 --> 00:13:36,332 Rachel. 227 00:13:36,367 --> 00:13:38,300 She did that stupid werewolf movie with Jess. 228 00:13:38,334 --> 00:13:39,991 It's in the festival. 229 00:13:40,026 --> 00:13:40,992 Can you get her? 230 00:13:41,027 --> 00:13:42,580 Yeah, I know her well. 231 00:13:42,614 --> 00:13:44,547 Sure she'd love to come and be your celebrity. 232 00:13:49,587 --> 00:13:51,416 You have no idea where we're going. 233 00:13:52,072 --> 00:13:53,418 Yes, I do. 234 00:13:59,217 --> 00:14:00,667 It's this way. Come on. 235 00:14:02,738 --> 00:14:06,431 We made a movie about Chinese families in the 18th century. 236 00:14:06,673 --> 00:14:08,502 Stories about mothers and daughters. 237 00:14:12,334 --> 00:14:15,613 This country makes no sense. 238 00:14:48,439 --> 00:14:49,681 Oi! 239 00:14:49,716 --> 00:14:51,235 Remember what we spoke about. 240 00:14:52,063 --> 00:14:54,169 Yeah, yeah, Dad. No day drinking. 241 00:14:55,653 --> 00:14:58,207 Hi. We're Ashraf and... 242 00:14:58,242 --> 00:14:59,381 Milie. 243 00:15:00,347 --> 00:15:01,970 I thought we was going with Millicent. 244 00:15:02,004 --> 00:15:03,419 We made 'Malicious intent.' 245 00:15:10,323 --> 00:15:11,358 Do I think we can win? 246 00:15:12,118 --> 00:15:13,188 Fuck, yeah. 247 00:15:13,464 --> 00:15:14,672 Right, babe? 248 00:15:14,706 --> 00:15:16,674 Well, forget winning. 249 00:15:16,708 --> 00:15:18,296 I mean, I'm just here for the guys 250 00:15:18,331 --> 00:15:21,265 with their sexy Scottish brogue. 251 00:15:21,299 --> 00:15:23,163 I mean, I haven't met any just yet, 252 00:15:23,198 --> 00:15:24,613 but I did spot this guy 253 00:15:24,647 --> 00:15:26,649 who looked a little bit like Chris Hemsworth on the plane. 254 00:15:26,684 --> 00:15:28,203 You know, the guy from Thor? 255 00:15:28,237 --> 00:15:30,308 I mean, given the chance. I'd do him until I was Thor. 256 00:15:32,793 --> 00:15:35,003 You do know I'm not one of your pals, don't you? 257 00:15:35,210 --> 00:15:37,350 You know I can't just unhear this stuff. 258 00:15:38,385 --> 00:15:39,386 Oh, well. 259 00:15:41,561 --> 00:15:43,252 Not really hungry. 260 00:15:44,012 --> 00:15:46,635 Nominations for best actress are... 261 00:15:47,325 --> 00:15:49,569 Fran Whittaker for, 'Hey, Mr. DJ.' 262 00:16:00,338 --> 00:16:01,684 - I can explain. - I want you to leave. 263 00:16:04,308 --> 00:16:05,309 Out of my house. 264 00:16:13,765 --> 00:16:15,526 What's black pudding? 265 00:16:15,560 --> 00:16:18,770 It's pork or beef blood mixed with oatmeal and fried. 266 00:16:18,805 --> 00:16:20,496 Are we in the same country? 267 00:16:21,118 --> 00:16:23,120 No, we're in Scotland. 268 00:16:24,052 --> 00:16:26,537 Esme Presley for 'Gods of Shoreditch.' 269 00:16:26,571 --> 00:16:29,471 Your sword skills do you a disservice, sir. 270 00:16:29,505 --> 00:16:31,024 The seal calls to you, 271 00:16:32,508 --> 00:16:33,854 but it is lying. 272 00:16:33,889 --> 00:16:35,097 That may be so. 273 00:16:35,408 --> 00:16:38,273 The seal is our portal to the future. 274 00:16:38,307 --> 00:16:39,688 It is the devil's work. 275 00:16:40,240 --> 00:16:42,242 Then the devil does fine work. 276 00:16:42,277 --> 00:16:43,416 How are the nominations? 277 00:16:43,657 --> 00:16:44,727 Oh, yeah. 278 00:16:44,762 --> 00:16:46,246 It's in the bag. 279 00:16:58,914 --> 00:16:59,984 Hi, guys. 280 00:17:00,019 --> 00:17:03,643 Uh, we're the kidnap gang, and we do kidnap pranks. 281 00:17:03,677 --> 00:17:05,093 This is my partner, Darren. 282 00:17:05,127 --> 00:17:06,128 Hello, hello. 283 00:17:06,680 --> 00:17:08,130 Now, uh, obviously, we've... 284 00:17:08,165 --> 00:17:10,167 we've entered two films into the festivals, 285 00:17:10,201 --> 00:17:13,170 which doubles our chances of winning something. 286 00:17:14,654 --> 00:17:16,552 But look, I've got to warn you, when we're about, 287 00:17:16,587 --> 00:17:18,899 there's always some fuckery afoot. 288 00:17:18,934 --> 00:17:19,900 Idiots. 289 00:17:19,935 --> 00:17:21,316 Both my dad and my uncle. 290 00:17:22,386 --> 00:17:24,388 Well, Gabriel, the guy who runs the festival, 291 00:17:24,422 --> 00:17:25,837 um, he invited us along. 292 00:17:25,872 --> 00:17:27,494 He thought we would be some good entertainment. 293 00:17:42,130 --> 00:17:43,338 Joking. We got her. 294 00:17:43,372 --> 00:17:44,201 You didn't. 295 00:17:44,235 --> 00:17:45,202 She said she'll do it. 296 00:17:45,236 --> 00:17:46,686 Thanks to this little madam. 297 00:17:46,720 --> 00:17:48,515 Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you so much. 298 00:17:49,206 --> 00:17:51,311 Sorry, I'm not really a hugger, but you know what I mean. 299 00:17:51,725 --> 00:17:53,175 She said she liked working with me. 300 00:17:53,382 --> 00:17:55,177 And the movie's nominated in the festival. 301 00:17:55,591 --> 00:17:57,593 You'll cover travel and bar bill. 302 00:17:57,628 --> 00:17:58,698 Bar bill? 303 00:17:58,732 --> 00:18:00,562 Yes, but don't worry about that now. 304 00:18:00,596 --> 00:18:02,253 You have a speaker. 305 00:18:02,564 --> 00:18:05,912 Hey, is this an exclusive party or can anybody join in? 306 00:18:05,946 --> 00:18:07,603 Tugg. You're here. 307 00:18:07,638 --> 00:18:08,846 Alert the paparazzi. 308 00:18:08,880 --> 00:18:09,950 That's good, that's good that he's here. 309 00:18:09,985 --> 00:18:11,262 No, seriously. 310 00:18:11,297 --> 00:18:12,643 Alert the paparazzi. 311 00:18:12,677 --> 00:18:14,886 Uh, your Dad has press at the awards, so. 312 00:18:16,543 --> 00:18:18,407 - How are you? - Jade. 313 00:18:18,442 --> 00:18:19,512 And what movie are you with? 314 00:18:19,546 --> 00:18:20,478 Sex. 315 00:18:20,513 --> 00:18:21,859 Hmm. 316 00:18:21,893 --> 00:18:23,723 Well, your film sounds interesting. 317 00:18:23,757 --> 00:18:25,621 And equally your name. 318 00:18:26,484 --> 00:18:28,624 Both subjects I'd love to learn more about. 319 00:18:30,695 --> 00:18:34,354 Tugg Speedman, actor, writer, filmmaker. 320 00:18:34,699 --> 00:18:36,632 Triple threat. Pow! 321 00:18:36,667 --> 00:18:38,255 Tugg. Have you checked in yet? 322 00:18:38,289 --> 00:18:39,704 It's actually just this way, I'll just show you where it is. 323 00:18:40,740 --> 00:18:41,775 I want that review. 324 00:18:49,438 --> 00:18:51,613 Listen, man, 325 00:18:51,647 --> 00:18:53,270 I didn't want to say anything in there. 326 00:18:53,304 --> 00:18:54,547 I didn't want to embarrass you. 327 00:18:55,444 --> 00:18:57,619 There was no one there to meet us at the airport. 328 00:18:57,929 --> 00:18:59,690 Oh, I didn't know we were... 329 00:19:00,000 --> 00:19:00,967 You know what? 330 00:19:01,001 --> 00:19:02,313 Technical issues. 331 00:19:03,521 --> 00:19:04,591 Get it together, man. 332 00:19:05,213 --> 00:19:07,456 You do realise what a big deal this is 333 00:19:07,491 --> 00:19:12,910 to have me and my movie playing exclusively at your festival. 334 00:19:12,944 --> 00:19:15,982 Of course, I, I thought it played in Ireland. 335 00:19:17,397 --> 00:19:18,743 That wasn't a film festival. 336 00:19:19,296 --> 00:19:21,505 That was a tent with a projector. 337 00:19:21,539 --> 00:19:22,575 Right. 338 00:19:22,609 --> 00:19:23,748 Oh, this... 339 00:19:24,680 --> 00:19:26,337 This is the one we've been waiting for. 340 00:19:27,304 --> 00:19:28,926 Academy qualifying. 341 00:19:29,720 --> 00:19:31,860 You do realise this is going to be huge 342 00:19:31,894 --> 00:19:34,207 for my movie and for your festival? 343 00:19:36,485 --> 00:19:37,555 Yes, so get it together. 344 00:19:44,769 --> 00:19:46,495 We're in room 175. 345 00:19:47,634 --> 00:19:48,704 Esme Presley. 346 00:19:49,257 --> 00:19:50,706 That's my name. Don't wear it out. 347 00:19:51,949 --> 00:19:52,812 Uh... 348 00:19:55,608 --> 00:19:56,643 Don't mess this up. 349 00:19:57,403 --> 00:19:58,473 Right. 350 00:20:01,027 --> 00:20:02,270 Please let me help you with your bag. 351 00:20:02,304 --> 00:20:03,271 Um. 352 00:20:03,305 --> 00:20:04,720 I'd be much obliged. 353 00:20:04,755 --> 00:20:06,446 He likes people to think I'm his assistant. 354 00:20:07,965 --> 00:20:11,279 Yeah. He's, uh, certainly a character with a small C. 355 00:20:11,693 --> 00:20:14,351 Oh, he's definitely something with a small C. 356 00:20:22,428 --> 00:20:24,602 We're going to need to separate these. 357 00:20:25,914 --> 00:20:27,502 Oh, like a twin room. 358 00:20:28,986 --> 00:20:30,539 Don't get me started. 359 00:20:30,574 --> 00:20:31,989 Tugg likes his space to sleep. 360 00:20:32,023 --> 00:20:33,024 Proper diva. 361 00:20:36,890 --> 00:20:38,789 You can put that down. 362 00:20:38,823 --> 00:20:41,895 Oh, God, yeah, sorry, um. 363 00:20:41,930 --> 00:20:44,519 Is there a turndown service or do I tip? 364 00:20:44,933 --> 00:20:47,246 Oh, no, no, I'm... I'm just helping. 365 00:20:48,005 --> 00:20:49,351 Just a thanks, then. 366 00:20:50,732 --> 00:20:52,803 Mm. Instant coffee. 367 00:20:52,837 --> 00:20:54,563 Uh, I liked your movie. 368 00:20:55,323 --> 00:20:57,808 Well, no, I liked your role in it. 369 00:21:00,776 --> 00:21:02,709 It's okay, you can say it's crap, it is. 370 00:21:02,744 --> 00:21:04,539 No, no, it's not crap, it's just, uh... 371 00:21:04,573 --> 00:21:05,643 It's unusual. 372 00:21:05,885 --> 00:21:07,956 It's time traveling gangsters, so. 373 00:21:09,026 --> 00:21:10,545 But it's up for Best picture, 374 00:21:10,579 --> 00:21:12,374 and it's probably going to get the Oscar qualifying spot. 375 00:21:12,409 --> 00:21:13,996 So what do I know? 376 00:21:14,031 --> 00:21:15,826 Alan. That's your name, right? 377 00:21:16,551 --> 00:21:17,966 The festival director's son. 378 00:21:19,174 --> 00:21:20,727 Tugg Speedman's a hack. 379 00:21:20,762 --> 00:21:22,902 And worse, a hack with a father with money. 380 00:21:23,765 --> 00:21:26,008 The writer's inspiration for 'Gods of Shoreditch' 381 00:21:26,043 --> 00:21:28,321 was a story with strong female characters 382 00:21:28,356 --> 00:21:30,289 who brought about the end of the world of men. 383 00:21:30,806 --> 00:21:33,602 Instead, Tugg turned her brilliant script 384 00:21:33,637 --> 00:21:36,502 into a wannabe gangster action movie 385 00:21:36,536 --> 00:21:38,987 with so much nudity, it could have been set in ancient Rome. 386 00:21:39,539 --> 00:21:41,748 Oh, I mean, I thought that it was... 387 00:21:41,783 --> 00:21:42,749 Sorry, darling. 388 00:21:42,784 --> 00:21:44,372 Body doubles for those scenes. 389 00:21:44,717 --> 00:21:46,546 Oh, no, no, I wasn't being weird, I was just... 390 00:21:46,581 --> 00:21:47,720 Alan, it's fine. 391 00:21:47,754 --> 00:21:49,756 I limit who sees me naked, including Tugg. 392 00:21:51,965 --> 00:21:53,139 Oh. You thought... 393 00:21:54,105 --> 00:21:55,452 Alan, no. 394 00:21:55,486 --> 00:21:57,316 Hasn't been like that for a very long time. 395 00:21:57,833 --> 00:22:00,180 Tugg, I imagine, is currently down in the bar 396 00:22:00,215 --> 00:22:03,045 flirting with any tart unlucky enough to be within earshot. 397 00:22:10,467 --> 00:22:12,779 I know his father paid for the movie to win, 398 00:22:12,814 --> 00:22:13,780 and I'm fine with that. 399 00:22:13,815 --> 00:22:14,816 Oh. 400 00:22:16,542 --> 00:22:17,543 Allen? 401 00:22:17,577 --> 00:22:18,613 Mm, yes. 402 00:22:20,166 --> 00:22:21,719 Do you want a coffee? 403 00:22:25,723 --> 00:22:27,518 That's... That's my dad. 404 00:22:27,553 --> 00:22:28,899 Um, I should... 405 00:22:28,933 --> 00:22:30,383 I didn't see him downstairs is everything okay? 406 00:22:30,418 --> 00:22:32,489 Uh, complicated. 407 00:22:32,523 --> 00:22:33,524 Uh, but... 408 00:22:34,145 --> 00:22:35,146 Yeah. 409 00:23:00,758 --> 00:23:01,759 Hello Al. 410 00:23:03,554 --> 00:23:04,555 You alright? 411 00:23:04,590 --> 00:23:06,454 Um, yeah, all good. 412 00:23:06,488 --> 00:23:07,662 Um, the adjudicators here. 413 00:23:08,248 --> 00:23:09,457 Okay. 414 00:23:14,703 --> 00:23:16,774 Yes. We made a movie called sex. 415 00:23:28,234 --> 00:23:30,063 At first there was nothing. 416 00:23:31,202 --> 00:23:33,688 Then there was woman. 417 00:23:40,902 --> 00:23:44,630 ♪ Time don't wait for no one 418 00:23:45,044 --> 00:23:47,978 So the role of the woman is the sole provider. 419 00:23:48,012 --> 00:23:50,705 The one giving the pain is the only one that can take it away. 420 00:23:51,188 --> 00:23:53,535 My role is to assist with clients. 421 00:23:53,570 --> 00:23:55,192 But I'm also an actress. 422 00:23:55,226 --> 00:23:59,438 Oh, not again with that stupid werewolf movie with Rachel. 423 00:23:59,990 --> 00:24:01,750 Rachel was amazing to work with. 424 00:24:03,511 --> 00:24:04,822 - And you too. - Yeah. 425 00:24:04,857 --> 00:24:07,204 But both equally. 426 00:24:07,238 --> 00:24:08,516 Yeah. Of course. 427 00:24:08,999 --> 00:24:10,483 Do you know what? Whatever, I don't care. 428 00:24:10,518 --> 00:24:11,967 Anyway, can somebody take this off, please? 429 00:24:24,186 --> 00:24:28,294 You have 12 finalists in your festival this year? 430 00:24:28,328 --> 00:24:31,193 Uh, yes. They are the final 12. 431 00:24:31,228 --> 00:24:34,714 The opening ceremony is tonight, and there will be a party. 432 00:24:35,784 --> 00:24:36,751 Mm. 433 00:24:36,785 --> 00:24:38,822 Not quite a party person. 434 00:24:39,098 --> 00:24:40,271 Mm. 435 00:24:40,996 --> 00:24:43,205 Each film has been individually assessed 436 00:24:43,240 --> 00:24:46,657 and announced within the required time period. 437 00:24:46,864 --> 00:24:49,971 Yes, no formal queries from the other candidates. 438 00:24:50,385 --> 00:24:54,182 And my father has done all of the assessments. 439 00:24:54,389 --> 00:24:55,528 Your father? 440 00:24:56,011 --> 00:24:57,288 Yes. 441 00:24:57,323 --> 00:25:00,568 Spoke to him many times on the phone. 442 00:25:00,844 --> 00:25:01,914 Never met. 443 00:25:02,846 --> 00:25:05,227 Where is he? 444 00:25:05,262 --> 00:25:08,610 Currently sorting out, um, something or other. 445 00:25:08,645 --> 00:25:10,957 You know what these crazy film-makers are like? 446 00:25:13,270 --> 00:25:14,305 No! 447 00:25:15,306 --> 00:25:16,618 Oh. 448 00:25:21,658 --> 00:25:23,280 I'm absolutely mortified. 449 00:25:23,832 --> 00:25:26,145 I didn't mind really, it was kind of fun. 450 00:25:26,386 --> 00:25:28,078 Bunch of kids them two, honestly. 451 00:25:36,155 --> 00:25:37,674 Very amusing. 452 00:25:38,364 --> 00:25:42,920 My preference is to sit near the back 453 00:25:42,955 --> 00:25:45,302 and on the aisle for each showing. 454 00:25:45,958 --> 00:25:47,580 Yes, we can accommodate that. 455 00:25:48,063 --> 00:25:51,688 Your father is the signatory for the festival. 456 00:25:51,722 --> 00:25:54,691 Have him speak to me at his earliest convenience. 457 00:25:54,725 --> 00:25:56,347 Of course. No... No problem. 458 00:25:57,452 --> 00:25:58,626 Would you excuse me? 459 00:25:58,660 --> 00:26:01,214 I need to go and sort out a thing. 460 00:26:37,388 --> 00:26:38,424 Hmm. 461 00:26:39,011 --> 00:26:40,426 Well, good morning to you. 462 00:26:42,842 --> 00:26:44,292 Leading actress? 463 00:26:44,326 --> 00:26:45,845 Yes I am. 464 00:26:45,880 --> 00:26:46,846 Well... 465 00:26:46,881 --> 00:26:48,020 No, no, no, no. 466 00:26:48,745 --> 00:26:50,436 You have certainly got the look. 467 00:26:50,470 --> 00:26:52,611 As if, he's like some old guy. 468 00:26:54,854 --> 00:26:56,166 You play your cards right. 469 00:26:56,994 --> 00:26:59,203 I might just let you audition for me sometime. 470 00:26:59,410 --> 00:27:03,414 So obviously, networking is the best part of these events 471 00:27:03,449 --> 00:27:06,141 before Tugg realises I'm a tease, 472 00:27:06,176 --> 00:27:09,041 his next movie will already be out, starring me. 473 00:27:13,321 --> 00:27:14,425 Thought you might be hungry. 474 00:27:14,840 --> 00:27:17,325 Thank you. 475 00:27:17,359 --> 00:27:18,740 But the breakfasts are meant to be for the film contestants. 476 00:27:20,500 --> 00:27:21,950 But yeah, they're not going to miss it, are they? 477 00:27:23,158 --> 00:27:24,746 The adjudicator buy your story? 478 00:27:24,781 --> 00:27:25,782 Mm? 479 00:27:25,816 --> 00:27:27,197 - Jade. - Ah. 480 00:27:27,438 --> 00:27:28,992 How is your father doing? 481 00:27:29,026 --> 00:27:31,304 Still in hospital, and I think, 482 00:27:31,339 --> 00:27:34,722 I think Tugg Speedman might just kill me when he finds out. 483 00:27:34,998 --> 00:27:37,725 So have you always wanted to be an actress, then? 484 00:27:38,001 --> 00:27:40,072 Come on, move along, Romeo. 485 00:27:40,106 --> 00:27:41,107 There's a queue here. 486 00:27:42,522 --> 00:27:43,696 I'll talk to you later. 487 00:27:47,804 --> 00:27:49,322 You seem to be doing okay so far. 488 00:27:49,357 --> 00:27:51,083 Just a few more days. 489 00:27:51,117 --> 00:27:53,879 Tugg will be happy once he gets his coveted academy place. 490 00:27:54,224 --> 00:27:55,777 Do you like working with him? 491 00:27:55,812 --> 00:27:57,365 You don't work with Tugg, 492 00:27:57,399 --> 00:27:59,712 you experience the carnage he leaves in his wake. 493 00:28:00,333 --> 00:28:02,542 You get used to the crazy after a few years. 494 00:28:02,577 --> 00:28:04,096 Yeah. I was going to pitch my film to him. 495 00:28:04,475 --> 00:28:05,684 'The God Particle?' 496 00:28:06,201 --> 00:28:07,444 Yeah, I optioned the third book. 497 00:28:07,478 --> 00:28:09,239 But I tell you what... 498 00:28:09,273 --> 00:28:12,069 An award nominated actress would look great on the cast list. 499 00:28:12,552 --> 00:28:14,451 This is a shit business, Alan. 500 00:28:14,485 --> 00:28:15,970 You can do your best performance 501 00:28:16,004 --> 00:28:19,283 then some hack director fumbles the ball in the edit. 502 00:28:19,318 --> 00:28:20,768 Hey, know your character Jo Marsh 503 00:28:20,802 --> 00:28:22,183 in 'Gods of Shoreditch' was amazing. 504 00:28:22,770 --> 00:28:24,495 Tits and arse don't make a movie. 505 00:28:24,530 --> 00:28:26,118 At least my body double had a good bum. 506 00:28:30,501 --> 00:28:31,986 'The God Particle' 507 00:28:32,020 --> 00:28:35,783 is a black ops super soldier 508 00:28:35,817 --> 00:28:38,026 who seeks vengeance after they have been betrayed 509 00:28:38,061 --> 00:28:39,476 on a mission gone terribly wrong. 510 00:28:39,959 --> 00:28:41,305 Good pitch. 511 00:28:41,340 --> 00:28:43,273 Yeah, but without Esmé Presley in it 512 00:28:43,307 --> 00:28:45,033 it's just another silly spy adventure. 513 00:28:48,347 --> 00:28:50,832 Actually, can you just give me a full second, please? 514 00:28:53,490 --> 00:28:55,147 Alan. My man. 515 00:28:55,181 --> 00:28:56,286 How are we? 516 00:28:56,320 --> 00:28:57,528 Right, are we all set for my screening? 517 00:28:57,563 --> 00:28:58,737 Yes. Of course. Um... 518 00:28:59,220 --> 00:29:00,359 - Emmett. - Emmett, yes. 519 00:29:00,393 --> 00:29:01,809 Yes, no. It's only because 520 00:29:01,843 --> 00:29:03,120 I heard there were some technical issues. 521 00:29:03,155 --> 00:29:04,259 Who told you that? 522 00:29:04,846 --> 00:29:06,399 Never mind, uh, no, everything's fine. 523 00:29:06,434 --> 00:29:07,780 - We're good to go. - Perfect. 524 00:29:07,815 --> 00:29:09,851 So, yeah, we made a horror movie. 525 00:29:09,886 --> 00:29:11,819 Yes, I play a maid. 526 00:29:12,095 --> 00:29:14,166 Don't you play a maid in Jade's movie too. 527 00:29:14,442 --> 00:29:15,995 Typecasting is a good thing. 528 00:29:16,202 --> 00:29:17,445 Do you actually watch the movies? 529 00:29:17,479 --> 00:29:19,171 Have you seen mine? It's got Rachel in it. 530 00:29:19,205 --> 00:29:20,517 Uh, no, my dad watches the films. 531 00:29:20,551 --> 00:29:21,552 It's more his thing. 532 00:29:21,898 --> 00:29:23,589 - Hi. - Hey. 533 00:29:24,107 --> 00:29:25,453 Um, the breakfasts 534 00:29:25,487 --> 00:29:27,800 are actually just for the film candidates, 535 00:29:27,835 --> 00:29:28,801 so, uh. 536 00:29:28,836 --> 00:29:30,009 Appreciate it. 537 00:29:30,044 --> 00:29:32,011 Yeah, yeah, no, so that that means... 538 00:29:32,840 --> 00:29:33,979 Sorry. 539 00:29:34,669 --> 00:29:36,429 But what if I was a film contestant? 540 00:29:39,398 --> 00:29:41,055 Okay, okay, look, 541 00:29:41,089 --> 00:29:43,091 if you want to go, like, just wait in the lobby 542 00:29:43,126 --> 00:29:44,092 and wait till they're all gone. 543 00:29:44,127 --> 00:29:45,611 I'll come and give you a shout, um. 544 00:29:45,991 --> 00:29:47,993 I had to print the application form from the library. 545 00:29:48,200 --> 00:29:49,477 It was a nightmare with all that ink. 546 00:29:50,202 --> 00:29:52,307 So like, sorry, I ain't taking the blame for that. 547 00:29:53,308 --> 00:29:54,620 Hang on, you've made a movie? 548 00:29:55,069 --> 00:29:57,485 Sure. Just like all the cats up in this gaff. 549 00:29:57,899 --> 00:29:59,314 It's a personal story. 550 00:29:59,349 --> 00:30:00,833 A flick about living on the streets. 551 00:30:01,869 --> 00:30:03,077 Mike in your face. 552 00:30:03,284 --> 00:30:04,457 Yeah, that's... 553 00:30:04,492 --> 00:30:06,080 That's actually really impressive. 554 00:30:06,114 --> 00:30:08,013 I'm not sure how you do that. 555 00:30:08,599 --> 00:30:09,635 Check it. 556 00:30:09,669 --> 00:30:11,050 Shot on the phone. 557 00:30:11,085 --> 00:30:12,465 Edited at a library. 558 00:30:12,500 --> 00:30:15,434 The equipment was 90s, but it's all good. 559 00:30:15,710 --> 00:30:18,092 Uh, well, that that is all good, 560 00:30:18,126 --> 00:30:22,303 but, um, the applications closed uh, two months ago now, so... 561 00:30:22,648 --> 00:30:24,236 Understands completely. 562 00:30:24,270 --> 00:30:25,409 But listen here, 563 00:30:25,444 --> 00:30:27,032 I ain't interested in what you're selling. 564 00:30:27,066 --> 00:30:28,999 For me, this is a golden opportunity 565 00:30:29,034 --> 00:30:31,243 of honest food and a bed for the night. 566 00:30:32,244 --> 00:30:35,592 Please. I really don't know how else to say this, 567 00:30:35,626 --> 00:30:38,560 but all of the final films have been announced. 568 00:30:39,389 --> 00:30:41,184 We can't add this. 569 00:30:41,563 --> 00:30:42,633 That's how it is? 570 00:30:43,980 --> 00:30:45,567 Sorry. What's your name? 571 00:30:45,602 --> 00:30:47,052 Mike. Iron Mike. 572 00:30:47,569 --> 00:30:49,295 Wow. Intimidating name. 573 00:30:49,502 --> 00:30:51,090 It's because where I'm bearing down. 574 00:30:51,125 --> 00:30:54,645 I have, like, three Iron bars tied together, so Iron Mike. 575 00:30:54,680 --> 00:30:56,095 Makes perfect sense. 576 00:30:56,302 --> 00:30:59,029 Listen, Alan's going to take your application 577 00:30:59,064 --> 00:31:00,479 because he's good at problem solving, 578 00:31:00,513 --> 00:31:02,343 and he very much wants to impress me. 579 00:31:04,586 --> 00:31:05,587 Alan, I was thinking... 580 00:31:06,002 --> 00:31:07,003 What was that? 581 00:31:07,037 --> 00:31:08,245 Simple. 582 00:31:08,280 --> 00:31:09,522 You did a very kind thing for a homeless man, 583 00:31:09,557 --> 00:31:11,076 and it did impress me. 584 00:31:11,110 --> 00:31:12,422 Okay. Yeah, that is very nice, 585 00:31:12,456 --> 00:31:14,010 but all the films have already been announced, Esme. 586 00:31:15,011 --> 00:31:16,288 I don't think he cares. 587 00:31:17,047 --> 00:31:18,014 Morning. 588 00:31:18,048 --> 00:31:19,015 Oh, shit. 589 00:31:19,049 --> 00:31:20,464 I mean morning! 590 00:31:21,293 --> 00:31:23,433 Your father down for breakfast? 591 00:31:23,467 --> 00:31:25,987 Uh, you know, he was, but he's an early riser, 592 00:31:26,022 --> 00:31:27,126 so you know how it is. 593 00:31:27,609 --> 00:31:29,197 We're just going to meet him now. 594 00:31:29,680 --> 00:31:33,615 The signatory is a very important part of the process. 595 00:31:33,650 --> 00:31:34,685 Of course. 596 00:31:41,589 --> 00:31:43,211 I played Lord Harrington of Malta. 597 00:31:48,285 --> 00:31:49,597 The beast must die. 598 00:31:52,600 --> 00:31:53,981 Whatever you think is best. 599 00:31:59,089 --> 00:32:00,194 I'm now unarmed. 600 00:32:02,196 --> 00:32:04,025 And I prevent you from doing your duty. 601 00:32:07,063 --> 00:32:08,719 Maybe she should kill us both. 602 00:32:10,721 --> 00:32:12,516 You've been bitten, mistress. 603 00:32:15,485 --> 00:32:16,555 The wolf. 604 00:32:18,729 --> 00:32:20,041 Courses 605 00:32:20,835 --> 00:32:22,250 through my veins. 606 00:32:23,838 --> 00:32:24,977 Run! 607 00:32:27,669 --> 00:32:28,739 So, yeah. 608 00:32:28,774 --> 00:32:30,500 It's a movie with a werewolf in it. 609 00:32:31,225 --> 00:32:32,605 Hi sister hates that we're together 610 00:32:34,538 --> 00:32:36,161 in the movie? 611 00:32:36,195 --> 00:32:40,717 Look, I spent a lot of time and energy into this ending. 612 00:32:41,269 --> 00:32:43,375 And trust me, once people see what we've done here, 613 00:32:45,204 --> 00:32:46,585 this best film winner's mine. 614 00:32:47,551 --> 00:32:49,657 Ours 615 00:32:49,691 --> 00:32:51,210 and everyone that was in the movie. 616 00:33:30,077 --> 00:33:31,423 Agnes, I just... 617 00:33:31,457 --> 00:33:33,494 I'm sorry for frightening you, Lady Harrington. 618 00:33:37,636 --> 00:33:38,637 Callum, 619 00:33:39,465 --> 00:33:40,570 go back to the house. 620 00:33:41,605 --> 00:33:42,675 Elizabeth. 621 00:33:45,609 --> 00:33:46,645 Now! 622 00:34:09,633 --> 00:34:11,359 Shit! No, no, not now. 623 00:34:12,878 --> 00:34:14,224 Everyone look into the..! 624 00:34:20,196 --> 00:34:21,335 God damn it! 625 00:34:21,749 --> 00:34:23,337 No one saw the ending. 626 00:34:33,209 --> 00:34:34,244 Emmet. 627 00:34:38,524 --> 00:34:41,872 It was just an utter shit show. 628 00:34:41,907 --> 00:34:44,082 I was pretty awesome as the maid. 629 00:34:54,195 --> 00:34:55,300 Are you okay? 630 00:35:00,477 --> 00:35:01,616 Hmm. 631 00:35:05,655 --> 00:35:07,381 Are you fucking kidding me? 632 00:35:08,727 --> 00:35:11,281 Did you just leave and come back so you could do that? 633 00:35:11,557 --> 00:35:13,421 Take some water. 634 00:35:13,456 --> 00:35:14,664 Fuck water! 635 00:35:14,698 --> 00:35:16,942 I want some fucking cocaine. 636 00:35:17,943 --> 00:35:18,978 Oh, fuck. 637 00:35:19,013 --> 00:35:20,739 Just call my fucking sponsor. 638 00:35:23,362 --> 00:35:25,709 You. 639 00:35:25,744 --> 00:35:27,711 Is your pathetic father gonna make it or not? 640 00:35:27,746 --> 00:35:28,988 Tell me. 641 00:35:29,023 --> 00:35:32,475 Uh, I don't know, but I'm obviously hoping. 642 00:35:32,509 --> 00:35:34,442 It's not his fault. 643 00:35:34,477 --> 00:35:37,238 Ah. 644 00:35:37,273 --> 00:35:38,584 Of course you knew. 645 00:35:38,791 --> 00:35:41,518 Everybody knows except poor old Tugg. 646 00:35:41,553 --> 00:35:42,933 It wasn't like that. 647 00:35:43,486 --> 00:35:44,970 Look, as long as the adjudicator doesn't find out, 648 00:35:45,004 --> 00:35:46,005 we're fine. 649 00:35:46,040 --> 00:35:47,869 We're fine, we're fine, 650 00:35:49,595 --> 00:35:51,390 we're fine, yeah we're fine. 651 00:35:51,425 --> 00:35:52,667 Until he visits 652 00:35:52,702 --> 00:35:55,739 your poor little feeble dad on a fucking deathbed. 653 00:35:56,602 --> 00:35:58,811 Tugg, his father still alive, take that back. 654 00:35:59,812 --> 00:36:01,607 I'll tell you one thing, boyo. 655 00:36:01,642 --> 00:36:04,403 He's not gonna be alive when my dad gets his hands on him. 656 00:36:04,783 --> 00:36:08,200 Or if you make this go tits up. 657 00:36:11,410 --> 00:36:13,205 You, 658 00:36:13,240 --> 00:36:14,275 I'm going to the bar. 659 00:36:15,276 --> 00:36:16,967 Fuck my sponsor. 660 00:36:36,263 --> 00:36:37,333 Really? 661 00:36:38,299 --> 00:36:39,645 Thought you had to call your sponsor. 662 00:36:42,476 --> 00:36:43,753 I didn't drink it. 663 00:36:44,098 --> 00:36:47,274 Well you thought about it, and you promised. 664 00:36:49,483 --> 00:36:50,587 Go away, Esme. 665 00:36:51,623 --> 00:36:53,487 I'm not cleaning up after you again. 666 00:36:55,351 --> 00:36:56,662 Well, you know what, mum? 667 00:36:57,905 --> 00:36:59,596 Do you know what I'm going to get you for Christmas? 668 00:37:00,010 --> 00:37:01,598 A nice big wooden cross. 669 00:37:02,703 --> 00:37:05,257 So next time you feel unappreciated 670 00:37:05,292 --> 00:37:06,638 for all your sacrifices, 671 00:37:07,294 --> 00:37:09,917 you can climb on up there and nail yourself to it. 672 00:37:17,890 --> 00:37:18,926 Look, it's... 673 00:37:34,666 --> 00:37:36,530 Yes. The movie did well. 674 00:37:36,564 --> 00:37:37,841 We are very proud. 675 00:37:46,402 --> 00:37:49,612 The adjudicator, of course, he picks the winner. 676 00:37:53,340 --> 00:37:54,479 That is not correct! 677 00:37:54,996 --> 00:37:56,619 He just an official. 678 00:37:56,653 --> 00:37:58,552 Gabriel, choose the winner. 679 00:37:58,586 --> 00:37:59,794 I know Alan, 680 00:37:59,829 --> 00:38:02,763 and I hope we have made a big impression on him 681 00:38:02,797 --> 00:38:03,902 and his father, Gabriel. 682 00:38:05,006 --> 00:38:07,423 We do rap movie next. 683 00:38:25,993 --> 00:38:28,478 There was a lot of nudity in 'Gods.' 684 00:38:29,652 --> 00:38:32,724 Yes, well, nudity was very important in our story 685 00:38:32,758 --> 00:38:34,035 of 'Gods of Shoreditch,' 686 00:38:35,174 --> 00:38:36,728 but, uh... 687 00:38:36,762 --> 00:38:38,799 some were more comfortable than others. 688 00:38:39,972 --> 00:38:43,735 I think sometimes nudity is considered controversial 689 00:38:43,769 --> 00:38:45,530 in some cultures because 690 00:38:45,564 --> 00:38:48,049 it challenges the standards of modesty. 691 00:38:49,085 --> 00:38:50,535 Yes, exactly. 692 00:38:50,569 --> 00:38:52,606 Nudity, it's a state of mind. 693 00:38:53,020 --> 00:38:54,711 I'll happily wander around the house 694 00:38:54,746 --> 00:38:56,644 all day with no clothes on. 695 00:38:56,679 --> 00:38:58,405 Just let it all hang out. 696 00:38:58,439 --> 00:39:00,130 Feel that breeze. 697 00:39:00,165 --> 00:39:01,891 It's, it's quite liberating. 698 00:39:03,582 --> 00:39:06,896 Would I be shallow if I said size doesn't matter? 699 00:39:11,418 --> 00:39:12,798 It's perfectly adequate. 700 00:39:18,114 --> 00:39:20,806 Is it true that it's all a farce? 701 00:39:21,669 --> 00:39:23,361 I don't really know. 702 00:39:23,637 --> 00:39:26,398 Well, you seem very close with Alan. 703 00:39:26,433 --> 00:39:27,744 He must have told you something. 704 00:39:28,089 --> 00:39:30,644 This is starting to feel like an intervention. 705 00:39:30,678 --> 00:39:31,955 Or maybe an interrogation. 706 00:39:32,784 --> 00:39:35,718 It's because everyone is hiding something. 707 00:39:35,752 --> 00:39:38,410 Esme, we're just curious. 708 00:39:38,962 --> 00:39:41,448 This festival is really important to us. 709 00:39:42,034 --> 00:39:43,553 We have vested interest. 710 00:39:44,899 --> 00:39:47,419 Look, I don't want to speak out of turn. 711 00:39:47,454 --> 00:39:49,697 And I understand that you guys are anxious, 712 00:39:50,180 --> 00:39:52,217 but really, you have to speak to Alan about this. 713 00:39:52,251 --> 00:39:54,564 Oh, we will, don't you worry about that. 714 00:39:58,223 --> 00:39:59,845 The mountain has arrived. 715 00:40:01,675 --> 00:40:03,608 You know, we all know that you're here. 716 00:40:04,056 --> 00:40:05,195 Can you help with this, please? 717 00:40:05,679 --> 00:40:06,921 They know, Alan. 718 00:40:06,956 --> 00:40:08,475 You might as well just tell them the truth. 719 00:40:08,716 --> 00:40:10,684 The truth will set you free. 720 00:40:10,718 --> 00:40:12,962 Okay, I've spoken to my dad in the hospital. 721 00:40:12,996 --> 00:40:14,584 He is getting better. 722 00:40:14,964 --> 00:40:17,898 It is a question of whether he can do the sign off, though. 723 00:40:17,932 --> 00:40:18,968 No, he can't. 724 00:40:19,002 --> 00:40:20,556 Not while he's in hospital. 725 00:40:20,590 --> 00:40:21,764 What's the sign off? 726 00:40:22,109 --> 00:40:24,732 The, uh, festival director has to sign off 727 00:40:24,767 --> 00:40:26,216 on the adjudicator's paperwork. 728 00:40:26,562 --> 00:40:27,770 Can't Alan do that? 729 00:40:28,943 --> 00:40:30,669 Are you the festival director, Alan? 730 00:40:30,704 --> 00:40:31,912 No, I'm... 731 00:40:31,946 --> 00:40:33,776 Uh, yeah, not the festival director then. 732 00:40:34,604 --> 00:40:36,019 What's that smell? 733 00:40:38,056 --> 00:40:42,819 Listen, monkey boy, I swear to God and Sonny Jesus 734 00:40:42,854 --> 00:40:46,236 if you don't find a solution, I'm gonna dropkick your head. 735 00:40:46,996 --> 00:40:50,482 And I've done seven days intensive stage combat, 736 00:40:50,517 --> 00:40:52,035 So you watch yourself. 737 00:41:03,564 --> 00:41:06,084 Forget 'The God particle,' this is producing. 738 00:41:06,118 --> 00:41:09,018 Oh, yeah, just without the money or the credit. 739 00:41:09,259 --> 00:41:11,054 You're cut out for greater things. 740 00:41:11,261 --> 00:41:12,815 Yeah, well, you clearly haven't met my dad. 741 00:41:12,849 --> 00:41:14,161 He's gonna kill my movie. 742 00:41:16,370 --> 00:41:18,786 Still living in his shadow, just like Tugg. 743 00:41:18,821 --> 00:41:20,305 Be thine own self, be true. 744 00:41:20,339 --> 00:41:21,789 Yeah, well, that's really easy for you to say, 745 00:41:21,824 --> 00:41:23,273 you're an award-winning actress 746 00:41:23,308 --> 00:41:25,552 with a string of movie titles behind you and I'm just... 747 00:41:25,586 --> 00:41:27,554 And you're currently a festival director. 748 00:41:29,314 --> 00:41:30,695 Ah, yeah, I see. 749 00:41:30,729 --> 00:41:32,351 Trying to sway influence with the festival director 750 00:41:32,386 --> 00:41:33,629 to try and win an award. 751 00:41:33,870 --> 00:41:35,044 It's not gonna work. 752 00:41:35,078 --> 00:41:36,804 Oh, my. What's a girl got to do? 753 00:41:39,600 --> 00:41:41,188 Mate. Borrow your shaver? 754 00:41:42,396 --> 00:41:43,846 Yeah, sure, whatever you need. 755 00:41:44,674 --> 00:41:46,193 Keep that towel on and I'll cut your hair. 756 00:41:48,091 --> 00:41:49,299 Hotel cleaning service? 757 00:41:49,334 --> 00:41:50,577 For sure. 758 00:41:51,336 --> 00:41:53,925 Mike, can we grab a look at your movie? 759 00:41:54,132 --> 00:41:56,168 Sure. It's your funeral. 760 00:42:05,005 --> 00:42:06,213 Well, this is it. 761 00:42:06,869 --> 00:42:09,872 This is where Iron Mike is staying the night. 762 00:42:10,666 --> 00:42:14,048 Because, uh, I don't have three iron bathtubs. 763 00:42:14,083 --> 00:42:15,567 They were all tied together, 764 00:42:15,602 --> 00:42:17,880 and it was really, really, really good. 765 00:42:17,914 --> 00:42:19,157 Always get a wee check in the bins, 766 00:42:19,191 --> 00:42:21,124 because you just don't know what's in these bins. 767 00:42:22,056 --> 00:42:23,782 Mike, this is good. 768 00:42:26,405 --> 00:42:27,372 And phone boxes. 769 00:42:28,994 --> 00:42:30,409 Always keep your eye out for them. 770 00:42:30,444 --> 00:42:31,341 A lot of people miss them. 771 00:42:31,963 --> 00:42:33,758 It's really good. 772 00:42:57,471 --> 00:42:58,714 Ow! 773 00:43:12,486 --> 00:43:14,143 Have you, uh... 774 00:43:14,177 --> 00:43:15,282 You calmed down yet? 775 00:43:17,698 --> 00:43:18,699 Any tea? 776 00:43:18,734 --> 00:43:20,632 Help yourself, you usually do. 777 00:43:21,978 --> 00:43:23,670 I wake up this morning, you're gone. 778 00:43:23,704 --> 00:43:25,775 Didn't think you'd notice through intensely snoring. 779 00:43:28,088 --> 00:43:29,330 I'm at a loss here, Esme. 780 00:43:30,815 --> 00:43:32,092 What's going on? 781 00:43:33,093 --> 00:43:35,820 Do you remember the little talk me and you had? 782 00:43:35,854 --> 00:43:37,787 I support you, you support me? 783 00:43:39,064 --> 00:43:42,827 That's all I ever do is support you. 784 00:43:42,861 --> 00:43:46,002 Yeah, well, you've been missing in action all weekend. 785 00:43:46,037 --> 00:43:47,935 I've been here all this time. 786 00:43:48,418 --> 00:43:51,007 The question is, where have you been? 787 00:43:51,042 --> 00:43:52,077 Clever. 788 00:43:53,182 --> 00:43:54,252 How's that working out for you? 789 00:43:57,151 --> 00:43:58,705 That's the thing about relationships, 790 00:43:59,395 --> 00:44:00,879 they give you a reason to live. 791 00:44:02,087 --> 00:44:03,192 Revenge. 792 00:44:04,711 --> 00:44:06,160 Hey, hey, do you remember this? 793 00:44:07,127 --> 00:44:09,819 ♪ I've heard there was a secret chord ♪ 794 00:44:09,854 --> 00:44:11,131 No. 795 00:44:11,165 --> 00:44:14,030 ♪ That David played it pleased the Lord ♪ 796 00:44:14,893 --> 00:44:18,310 ♪ But you don't really care for movies, do ya? ♪ 797 00:44:20,036 --> 00:44:23,108 ♪ It goes like this, the fourth, the fifth. ♪ 798 00:44:23,143 --> 00:44:24,282 Sit down. 799 00:44:24,316 --> 00:44:27,941 ♪ The major falls, the minor lifts ♪ 800 00:44:28,286 --> 00:44:33,291 ♪ The baffled king composing Hallelujah ♪ 801 00:44:34,810 --> 00:44:36,294 No? 802 00:44:36,777 --> 00:44:39,090 Those old cheap moves aren't going to work on me anymore. 803 00:44:39,124 --> 00:44:41,161 I've got plenty of new cheap moves for you. 804 00:44:41,195 --> 00:44:42,438 How are you gonna face all these people 805 00:44:42,472 --> 00:44:44,509 when they find out you paid for the award? 806 00:44:45,821 --> 00:44:46,891 The question is, babe, 807 00:44:48,202 --> 00:44:49,307 do you feel paid for it? 808 00:45:01,250 --> 00:45:03,114 Esme! 809 00:45:06,151 --> 00:45:08,533 That's bad juju, mate, you need to take a moment. 810 00:45:08,567 --> 00:45:10,121 But she's upset. 811 00:45:11,294 --> 00:45:13,745 Having your bridges burned is never going to be easy, 812 00:45:13,780 --> 00:45:14,781 but she's strong. 813 00:45:21,339 --> 00:45:22,305 Bad juju. 814 00:45:28,173 --> 00:45:30,831 I think it's better from an older person. 815 00:45:31,832 --> 00:45:33,454 But this is your fault, Jess. 816 00:45:33,489 --> 00:45:35,422 You were in her fucking movie. 817 00:45:36,009 --> 00:45:37,286 She was very giving as an actress. 818 00:45:37,320 --> 00:45:38,563 - Yeah. - Okay. 819 00:45:38,597 --> 00:45:40,220 Can one of you please just tell me what's going on? 820 00:45:43,085 --> 00:45:44,293 Rachel can't do it. 821 00:45:45,501 --> 00:45:47,848 We forgot Jade posted on Rachel's socials 822 00:45:47,883 --> 00:45:49,367 that she was so bitchy 823 00:45:49,401 --> 00:45:50,989 she's probably playing the werewolf. 824 00:45:51,024 --> 00:45:52,508 Why? 825 00:45:52,542 --> 00:45:54,268 Because it was my role. 826 00:45:54,303 --> 00:45:55,407 Oh! 827 00:46:00,827 --> 00:46:03,588 Wow, what a transformation. 828 00:46:04,451 --> 00:46:06,591 Hey, got myself some new threads. 829 00:46:09,905 --> 00:46:11,976 It's gonna be a long night. 830 00:46:24,505 --> 00:46:26,266 I mean, this is getting ridiculous. 831 00:46:29,234 --> 00:46:32,168 Sorry. Caroline. Hi, um... 832 00:46:33,169 --> 00:46:34,446 - Wow. - Hey, Alan. 833 00:46:35,309 --> 00:46:38,071 Could I be the most beautiful girl in the world? 834 00:46:38,105 --> 00:46:40,452 Uh, uh, Caroline, wow. 835 00:46:40,487 --> 00:46:42,523 Um, what are you doing here? 836 00:46:43,110 --> 00:46:46,873 I mean, I'm glad that you are, but why? 837 00:46:47,632 --> 00:46:49,599 It seems most men take advantage. 838 00:46:49,979 --> 00:46:51,118 Except you, of course. 839 00:46:51,601 --> 00:46:52,568 Hm. 840 00:46:52,602 --> 00:46:53,880 Giggles was a mistake. 841 00:46:53,914 --> 00:46:55,260 Ha. 842 00:46:56,089 --> 00:46:58,850 I'll still do your announcements if you want me. 843 00:46:59,057 --> 00:47:00,231 Really? 844 00:47:00,265 --> 00:47:02,233 Oh, Caroline, absolutely, that'd be amazing. 845 00:47:02,267 --> 00:47:04,131 Yes, yes, thank you, thank you so much. 846 00:47:05,684 --> 00:47:07,203 Wow, slaying it, Mike. 847 00:47:07,617 --> 00:47:09,447 Nobody even seen a man in a suit? 848 00:47:10,206 --> 00:47:12,070 Ah, she's just getting a bit excited. 849 00:47:12,519 --> 00:47:13,969 Our film's showing today. 850 00:47:14,210 --> 00:47:17,524 'Malicious intent.' Gangster comedy 851 00:47:17,558 --> 00:47:18,870 Has 'Malicious intent' even got a chance? 852 00:47:19,284 --> 00:47:21,252 Well, it's a lower budget than Tugg's film, 853 00:47:21,286 --> 00:47:24,048 but hopefully we spent the money where it really mattered. 854 00:47:25,601 --> 00:47:27,223 We got the secret ingredient. 855 00:47:27,499 --> 00:47:30,606 Me. I'm the secret ingredient. 856 00:47:30,640 --> 00:47:32,125 Well, look, when Millie was ten, 857 00:47:32,159 --> 00:47:34,679 we'd done a short film together called 'Daddy's Girl.' 858 00:47:37,647 --> 00:47:41,099 Those clips are a springboard for 'Malicious intent.' 859 00:47:41,134 --> 00:47:42,998 It's like the story picks up from that point. 860 00:47:45,483 --> 00:47:49,487 She was much cuter then and not such a pain in the arse. 861 00:47:52,490 --> 00:47:54,630 Well, the best advice I can give 862 00:47:54,664 --> 00:47:57,046 is that you never know who's going to grow up to be famous, 863 00:47:57,081 --> 00:47:58,427 so just make yourself available. 864 00:47:59,255 --> 00:48:00,532 Oh, don't be a tart. 865 00:48:00,739 --> 00:48:02,189 Well, I wish I was Beyoncé. 866 00:48:06,711 --> 00:48:07,988 I've been looking for you. 867 00:48:08,023 --> 00:48:09,196 Found me. 868 00:48:09,231 --> 00:48:10,473 Well, I thought maybe you wanted some space. 869 00:48:11,543 --> 00:48:13,097 Good choice. 870 00:48:13,131 --> 00:48:15,271 Or you could just kill all the girls prettier than me. 871 00:48:15,582 --> 00:48:17,066 Or maybe just Tugg, so. 872 00:48:20,311 --> 00:48:21,691 Where are all the good guys at? 873 00:48:21,726 --> 00:48:24,211 In the heart or in the head? 874 00:48:24,556 --> 00:48:26,075 You think I'm a good guy? 875 00:48:26,558 --> 00:48:29,734 Well, when your instinct tells you to do something, 876 00:48:29,768 --> 00:48:31,356 you don't do it 877 00:48:31,391 --> 00:48:34,635 so maybe when it tells you not to that's when you should. 878 00:48:35,533 --> 00:48:36,983 Oh. 879 00:48:38,191 --> 00:48:39,226 Read the room, Alan. 880 00:48:39,261 --> 00:48:41,435 This is the consensual kissing part. 881 00:48:42,195 --> 00:48:43,230 Uh. 882 00:48:44,266 --> 00:48:45,267 Caroline's back. 883 00:48:47,303 --> 00:48:48,926 Um. 884 00:48:49,374 --> 00:48:53,137 Uh, your ex that got with your best friend, Caroline? 885 00:48:53,171 --> 00:48:56,209 Yeah. Um, she, uh, she wants to present the awards. 886 00:48:56,623 --> 00:48:58,521 Mm. That's good, I guess. 887 00:48:58,556 --> 00:49:00,040 Great for you. 888 00:49:00,075 --> 00:49:01,352 Well, the whole thing with Giggles was a mistake. 889 00:49:01,386 --> 00:49:04,113 I mean, I always thought so, but I guess she's realised it too. 890 00:49:04,148 --> 00:49:05,287 So, um. 891 00:49:05,321 --> 00:49:07,979 Yeah, no, great, um, so pleased for you. 892 00:49:08,014 --> 00:49:09,498 Uh. 893 00:49:09,532 --> 00:49:10,706 Are you okay? 894 00:49:10,740 --> 00:49:13,019 Yeah, just peachy. 895 00:49:13,053 --> 00:49:14,399 planning lessons all the time. 896 00:49:14,779 --> 00:49:17,609 Right, um, I'm sorry, just one second, thank you. 897 00:49:30,726 --> 00:49:34,143 Ladies and gentlemen, I would be happy to present our next film, 898 00:49:34,178 --> 00:49:35,351 'Malicious Intent.' 899 00:49:36,766 --> 00:49:40,322 No, no, no, no, wait wait wait! 900 00:49:43,256 --> 00:49:44,326 Um. 901 00:49:46,466 --> 00:49:48,537 My apologies. 902 00:49:49,262 --> 00:49:50,435 There will now be a short interval, 903 00:49:50,470 --> 00:49:52,437 as I need a word with the festival director. 904 00:49:55,854 --> 00:49:56,994 Young man, 905 00:49:58,547 --> 00:50:01,481 this is totally irregular. 906 00:50:01,895 --> 00:50:03,759 My paperwork should have been signed 907 00:50:03,793 --> 00:50:06,520 and emailed off this morning. 908 00:50:07,694 --> 00:50:10,248 I understand. he's just busy. 909 00:50:10,524 --> 00:50:12,423 You've fobbed me off with that before. 910 00:50:12,457 --> 00:50:14,045 Where is your father? 911 00:50:14,080 --> 00:50:15,736 He is festival director. 912 00:50:15,771 --> 00:50:18,429 Fully understand, uh, end of the next movie he'll be here. 913 00:50:18,463 --> 00:50:22,502 Yeah, listen, young man, this might seem like a game to you, 914 00:50:22,536 --> 00:50:24,262 but it's also my job. 915 00:50:24,297 --> 00:50:26,678 And I don't like explaining to my line manager 916 00:50:26,713 --> 00:50:28,542 that I can't manage a simple task, 917 00:50:28,577 --> 00:50:29,612 such as getting a 918 00:50:31,442 --> 00:50:33,375 signature! 919 00:50:33,409 --> 00:50:35,549 Stand on me, I will sort it. 920 00:50:37,896 --> 00:50:39,070 it's our big day. 921 00:50:40,589 --> 00:50:43,247 Uh, yeah, it is. 922 00:51:03,439 --> 00:51:05,614 ♪ I curse them to hell 923 00:51:06,132 --> 00:51:08,306 ♪ As her bow fought the swell 924 00:51:08,686 --> 00:51:12,414 ♪ Our ship danced like a moth in the firelight ♪ 925 00:51:13,380 --> 00:51:17,591 ♪ Wild horses rode high as the devil passed by ♪ 926 00:51:17,902 --> 00:51:22,286 ♪ Taking souls into Hades by twilight ♪ 927 00:51:23,666 --> 00:51:25,737 ♪ Five weeks out to sea 928 00:51:25,772 --> 00:51:27,912 ♪ We were now 43 929 00:51:27,946 --> 00:51:30,880 ♪ We buried our comrades each morning ♪ 930 00:51:32,227 --> 00:51:34,125 ♪ In our own sign 931 00:51:34,160 --> 00:51:35,782 ♪ We were lost in the time 932 00:51:36,300 --> 00:51:40,131 ♪ Endless night we were dawning ♪ 933 00:51:41,408 --> 00:51:44,653 ♪ Oh 934 00:51:44,963 --> 00:51:47,725 ♪ I wish I was back home in Derry ♪ 935 00:51:48,967 --> 00:51:51,660 ♪ Oh. 936 00:51:52,523 --> 00:51:53,869 ♪ I wish I was 937 00:51:55,250 --> 00:51:57,597 So essentially, it's like a black ops agent. 938 00:51:57,631 --> 00:52:00,600 Oh, oh, Caroline, you have to meet our resident movie star, 939 00:52:00,634 --> 00:52:01,739 Esme Presley. 940 00:52:02,533 --> 00:52:03,982 Today, everyone's a star, 941 00:52:04,017 --> 00:52:06,364 They're all billed as starring or also starring 942 00:52:06,399 --> 00:52:07,952 without earning that recognition. 943 00:52:08,746 --> 00:52:12,198 Caroline, you're back from outer space. 944 00:52:12,681 --> 00:52:15,270 I noticed you cry a lot in your films. 945 00:52:15,304 --> 00:52:17,996 Your tear ducts must be very close to your bladder. 946 00:52:18,031 --> 00:52:20,413 Has Alan talked you into presenting? 947 00:52:20,861 --> 00:52:23,519 All these Best Actress nominees and I'm just thinking, 948 00:52:23,554 --> 00:52:24,934 shut up and get a salad. 949 00:52:25,383 --> 00:52:27,385 Uh, so, um, Caroline thinks that 950 00:52:27,420 --> 00:52:29,353 we should just come clean with every adjudicator. 951 00:52:30,285 --> 00:52:32,183 Not the best idea. 952 00:52:32,528 --> 00:52:35,324 Is that your own thought, or do you need a screenwriter? 953 00:52:36,636 --> 00:52:39,501 Caroline, we should be friends. 954 00:52:41,054 --> 00:52:42,331 Yes, I agree. 955 00:52:42,366 --> 00:52:43,436 Best friends. 956 00:52:46,370 --> 00:52:48,026 I think that ending needs work. 957 00:52:48,061 --> 00:52:51,271 How about less silly questions and a bit more shut the hell up. 958 00:52:51,513 --> 00:52:54,205 How did you make her look younger in the film? 959 00:52:54,240 --> 00:52:56,000 Was that computer stuff? 960 00:52:56,034 --> 00:52:59,245 This is a man who thinks the plural of goose is sheep. 961 00:53:00,280 --> 00:53:01,592 I ain't saying anything. 962 00:53:01,626 --> 00:53:03,525 So then your, uh, 963 00:53:03,559 --> 00:53:07,563 your style is clearly more gangster than it is horror. 964 00:53:07,598 --> 00:53:11,049 Hey, that cat who played Dudley in your movie, 965 00:53:11,084 --> 00:53:12,189 he was awesome. 966 00:53:15,053 --> 00:53:16,538 Joy. 967 00:53:16,779 --> 00:53:19,886 All right, ladies and gentlemen, our next film is... 968 00:53:22,475 --> 00:53:23,545 'Sex.' 969 00:53:24,994 --> 00:53:26,030 Have fun. 970 00:53:58,096 --> 00:54:01,893 ♪ Time don't wait for no one 971 00:54:02,825 --> 00:54:06,519 ♪ There's no escape from what I must do ♪ 972 00:54:06,553 --> 00:54:07,692 Turn around and bend over. 973 00:54:09,729 --> 00:54:13,802 ♪ I can't wait forever 974 00:54:14,561 --> 00:54:15,838 I think it's time to leave. 975 00:54:15,873 --> 00:54:16,770 ♪ But I will wait for you 976 00:54:17,081 --> 00:54:18,945 I'm young, I'm all dressed up. 977 00:54:19,428 --> 00:54:22,604 I'm on my way to marry the asexual awakening. 978 00:54:22,638 --> 00:54:24,709 And there's 290 years separating me 979 00:54:24,744 --> 00:54:26,263 from the films of Kevin Smith. 980 00:54:26,677 --> 00:54:31,371 ♪ But that doesn't mean it's true ♪ 981 00:54:32,890 --> 00:54:37,619 ♪ If time don't wait for no one ♪ 982 00:54:38,689 --> 00:54:43,487 ♪ How can I wait for you? 983 00:54:43,521 --> 00:54:44,626 Tough love. 984 00:54:44,833 --> 00:54:48,526 ♪ The cards are on the table 985 00:54:48,561 --> 00:54:50,079 It is complete love. 986 00:54:50,114 --> 00:54:52,392 It is complete love. 987 00:54:52,599 --> 00:54:55,084 ♪ Will do 988 00:55:02,885 --> 00:55:03,990 Didn't fancy 'Sex' then? 989 00:55:05,025 --> 00:55:06,958 It was beauty that killed the beast. 990 00:55:07,787 --> 00:55:10,893 'Malicious Intent' should be good competition for Tugg. 991 00:55:10,928 --> 00:55:12,378 It might blindside him. 992 00:55:13,206 --> 00:55:14,552 Well, we can hope so. 993 00:55:14,587 --> 00:55:15,933 But look, I'm probably the most 994 00:55:15,967 --> 00:55:18,763 noncompetitive person here, so I win. 995 00:55:19,971 --> 00:55:21,697 Secrets and lies. 996 00:55:23,389 --> 00:55:24,390 Come with me. 997 00:55:28,497 --> 00:55:29,774 This is bang out of order. 998 00:55:30,050 --> 00:55:32,156 Have you any idea how much shit I went through 999 00:55:32,190 --> 00:55:33,571 to get the day off today? 1000 00:55:33,606 --> 00:55:35,401 This ain't my day job, you know. 1001 00:55:35,435 --> 00:55:36,678 It's not Alan's fault. 1002 00:55:37,230 --> 00:55:40,578 Well, this does land squarely on Alan's door. 1003 00:55:40,613 --> 00:55:44,341 I was thinking, since no one saw the ending of my film, 1004 00:55:44,962 --> 00:55:46,791 can we screen it again, maybe? 1005 00:55:48,724 --> 00:55:50,416 Look at you, all of you. 1006 00:55:50,795 --> 00:55:54,799 No problem is too big, we can't fix it if we work together. 1007 00:55:54,834 --> 00:55:57,871 Esme, you're beautiful on the inside, 1008 00:55:57,906 --> 00:56:01,116 but it's important you understand your limitations. 1009 00:56:01,150 --> 00:56:02,911 Alan, what I'm saying is, 1010 00:56:02,945 --> 00:56:05,396 if anyone actually saw the ending of the film, 1011 00:56:05,431 --> 00:56:07,225 then people would know that my character 1012 00:56:07,260 --> 00:56:09,020 disguises himself as older. 1013 00:56:09,435 --> 00:56:13,439 I will play your dad, and I will sign off this whole festival. 1014 00:56:16,131 --> 00:56:17,132 What? 1015 00:56:18,478 --> 00:56:19,548 I've got range. 1016 00:56:21,205 --> 00:56:22,206 Him! 1017 00:56:23,794 --> 00:56:25,485 I can't play Gabriel. 1018 00:56:25,520 --> 00:56:27,004 That accent's incredibly tricky. 1019 00:56:27,936 --> 00:56:31,042 If you don't do it, then all of this is over for everyone. 1020 00:56:32,803 --> 00:56:34,045 Hello, son. 1021 00:56:34,080 --> 00:56:35,633 How are you? 1022 00:56:35,668 --> 00:56:38,464 Oh, God, this has disaster written all over it. 1023 00:56:39,188 --> 00:56:40,535 Something is missing. 1024 00:56:40,914 --> 00:56:42,088 Could be range. 1025 00:56:43,123 --> 00:56:44,193 The meanness. 1026 00:56:44,677 --> 00:56:46,403 Yeah, Gabriel is an arsehole. 1027 00:56:48,025 --> 00:56:50,476 Oi, I'm not happy, and I don't like it. 1028 00:56:50,510 --> 00:56:51,580 Oh my God. 1029 00:56:53,720 --> 00:56:54,825 Esme? 1030 00:56:55,101 --> 00:56:56,447 Is my foot scrub in there? 1031 00:56:58,691 --> 00:57:00,140 This is gonna be brilliant. 1032 00:57:02,971 --> 00:57:04,559 And bring my razor as well, will you? 1033 00:57:22,784 --> 00:57:24,682 You've been blowing hot and cold me all day. 1034 00:57:25,269 --> 00:57:26,926 Everything's fine in my world. 1035 00:57:28,237 --> 00:57:29,860 You might want to tell your face that. 1036 00:57:31,724 --> 00:57:32,828 This is a big day for us. 1037 00:57:33,588 --> 00:57:35,141 You bought the award, Tugg. 1038 00:57:35,348 --> 00:57:36,625 Hardly meritable. 1039 00:57:37,143 --> 00:57:38,662 I read a book about this once. 1040 00:57:38,696 --> 00:57:40,077 You sure it was a book? 1041 00:57:40,111 --> 00:57:41,699 You sure it wasn't nothing? 1042 00:57:42,044 --> 00:57:45,013 This is show business, not care business. 1043 00:57:46,083 --> 00:57:48,534 You're like all the worst parts of a girlfriend. 1044 00:57:49,362 --> 00:57:50,915 Do you not want to be the producer? 1045 00:57:52,986 --> 00:57:54,919 And just for that, when the movie comes out, 1046 00:57:54,954 --> 00:57:57,094 I'm gonna get Matt Damon to play you. 1047 00:57:57,128 --> 00:57:58,302 Oh. 1048 00:57:58,923 --> 00:58:00,925 Well, maybe I'll get Jade to play you then. 1049 00:58:01,339 --> 00:58:02,651 Jade? 1050 00:58:02,686 --> 00:58:03,583 Yeah. 1051 00:58:03,618 --> 00:58:04,998 Your new producing partner. 1052 00:58:06,172 --> 00:58:08,588 A little girl-on-girl action. 1053 00:58:10,590 --> 00:58:11,660 I'm joking. 1054 00:58:12,247 --> 00:58:14,560 Unless... Unless you'd be up for it. 1055 00:58:22,326 --> 00:58:23,948 Jeez, I was only joking. 1056 00:58:24,259 --> 00:58:26,744 It's not a joke. I'm feeling lost. 1057 00:58:27,607 --> 00:58:28,884 Hey. 1058 00:58:28,919 --> 00:58:30,541 ♪ I've heard there was a secret chord ♪ 1059 00:58:30,576 --> 00:58:31,887 Stop. 1060 00:58:31,922 --> 00:58:33,371 ♪ that Michael played It pleased the Lord ♪ 1061 00:58:33,406 --> 00:58:34,821 Stop! 1062 00:58:36,409 --> 00:58:39,136 If I explained it, I think I'd only confuse you. 1063 00:58:41,725 --> 00:58:43,312 Do you know what? 1064 00:58:43,347 --> 00:58:44,831 I think it's times like this, 1065 00:58:44,866 --> 00:58:48,110 If I wasn't a multi-award winning, talented filmmaker 1066 00:58:48,145 --> 00:58:50,181 and you were just an ordinary girl, 1067 00:58:50,216 --> 00:58:51,597 ]then we wouldn't have these problems. 1068 00:58:53,771 --> 00:58:54,945 On 'Gods of Shoreditch,' 1069 00:58:54,979 --> 00:58:57,395 I was supposed to be an associate producer, 1070 00:58:57,430 --> 00:59:00,019 but in reality I was more of a dogsbody. 1071 00:59:00,813 --> 00:59:02,228 Seriously? This again? 1072 00:59:03,056 --> 00:59:06,232 I told you, it's whatever it takes to get the shot. 1073 00:59:09,131 --> 00:59:11,927 Look, you can produce the next one in full. 1074 00:59:13,170 --> 00:59:14,654 Yeah, my dad's already on board. 1075 00:59:16,069 --> 00:59:18,037 Take that back and I'll kill you. 1076 00:59:19,141 --> 00:59:20,177 You're the producer. 1077 00:59:22,420 --> 00:59:23,594 Game face on. 1078 00:59:24,630 --> 00:59:26,286 Hooray for Hollywood! 1079 00:59:37,850 --> 00:59:39,127 You didn't hold the bloody lift. 1080 00:59:39,161 --> 00:59:40,128 Oh, didn't I? 1081 00:59:49,309 --> 00:59:50,310 Oh, God. 1082 01:00:09,226 --> 01:00:12,091 Are you not going to change for the paparazzi shots? 1083 01:00:12,125 --> 01:00:13,817 It's not really my thing. 1084 01:00:13,851 --> 01:00:16,060 Besides, Gabriel would wear something like this, right? 1085 01:00:16,785 --> 01:00:18,166 I've got a bad feeling about this. 1086 01:00:18,200 --> 01:00:20,996 Listen, son, I've got this whole routine worked out. 1087 01:00:21,031 --> 01:00:23,240 No routine, Okay. This isn't an audition. 1088 01:00:23,274 --> 01:00:25,967 Just say hello and then sign the pissing document. 1089 01:00:26,001 --> 01:00:27,037 Where's your wife? 1090 01:00:27,831 --> 01:00:29,177 I think we should just come clean. 1091 01:00:29,211 --> 01:00:30,834 Ha, ha, ha. 1092 01:00:30,868 --> 01:00:31,835 Hello. 1093 01:00:31,869 --> 01:00:33,422 You must be the adjudicator. 1094 01:00:33,768 --> 01:00:35,873 My son Alan's been telling me all about you. 1095 01:00:38,358 --> 01:00:40,015 Sorry I've been a bit busy. 1096 01:00:40,050 --> 01:00:43,018 This film festival malarkey kept me on my toes. 1097 01:00:43,053 --> 01:00:46,125 Yes. Seems to have ramped up a notch 1098 01:00:46,159 --> 01:00:48,230 with the screening of 'Gods of Shoreditch.' 1099 01:00:48,955 --> 01:00:51,406 One of my personal favourites. 1100 01:00:51,440 --> 01:00:54,754 Um, now that you're here, 1101 01:00:54,789 --> 01:00:58,965 uh, my paperwork needs a signature. 1102 01:00:59,000 --> 01:01:01,692 Absolutely. Happy to. 1103 01:01:01,968 --> 01:01:03,073 Thanking you. 1104 01:01:06,455 --> 01:01:07,802 Oh, sorry. 1105 01:01:08,388 --> 01:01:10,183 Forgot who I was there for a second. 1106 01:01:12,392 --> 01:01:13,324 Is that alright? 1107 01:01:13,359 --> 01:01:14,705 Yeah. 1108 01:01:15,085 --> 01:01:17,501 I'll need a final signing off, 1109 01:01:18,088 --> 01:01:19,399 uh, when the winners are announced, 1110 01:01:20,953 --> 01:01:24,370 Your accent seems off. 1111 01:01:25,060 --> 01:01:26,959 Uh, 1112 01:01:26,993 --> 01:01:30,479 it's... it's posh voice. 1113 01:01:30,514 --> 01:01:32,412 A posh telephone voice. 1114 01:01:32,861 --> 01:01:35,381 Yeah, I should use it all the time really. 1115 01:01:35,415 --> 01:01:37,210 Right. 1116 01:01:37,245 --> 01:01:39,454 Your honour, may I show you to the next screening? 1117 01:01:43,251 --> 01:01:44,424 Oh! 1118 01:01:46,219 --> 01:01:49,257 You know, my movies are inherently amazing. 1119 01:01:50,810 --> 01:01:52,156 It's all about the big screen. 1120 01:01:53,882 --> 01:01:55,435 And it's not easy being an action star. 1121 01:01:57,886 --> 01:01:59,785 Thank you. 1122 01:02:02,788 --> 01:02:05,307 Shouldn't you be up there now that you're here? 1123 01:02:06,446 --> 01:02:09,795 Yes. Uh, absolutely. 1124 01:02:09,829 --> 01:02:13,108 He is such a star when it comes to these things. 1125 01:02:17,319 --> 01:02:21,254 Uh, ladies and gentlemen, I'd like to introduce you 1126 01:02:22,324 --> 01:02:25,293 'Gods of Shoreditch' 1127 01:02:25,327 --> 01:02:27,467 and it stars, big round of applause, 1128 01:02:27,502 --> 01:02:33,128 for its stars Esme Presley and Tugg Speedman. 1129 01:02:46,901 --> 01:02:48,109 Good entrance. 1130 01:02:48,834 --> 01:02:50,111 You want to see the one I'm going to make 1131 01:02:50,145 --> 01:02:51,560 when I win my award? 1132 01:02:54,494 --> 01:02:56,393 What? No! Get out! 1133 01:02:56,980 --> 01:02:58,395 Both of you! Come on. 1134 01:02:58,429 --> 01:03:02,123 Crazy filmmakers trying to draw attention to their film. 1135 01:03:03,124 --> 01:03:05,195 I thought they were quite fun. 1136 01:03:08,336 --> 01:03:10,821 You know, they do say I'm the new Robert Rodriguez. 1137 01:03:10,856 --> 01:03:13,099 Except I star in my own movies as well. 1138 01:03:13,548 --> 01:03:15,308 Maybe Robert was smarter. 1139 01:03:21,867 --> 01:03:24,490 You fought well despite a twisted ankle. 1140 01:03:26,043 --> 01:03:27,907 You will live to fight another day. 1141 01:03:28,321 --> 01:03:30,530 And I assure you, it is not serious. 1142 01:03:30,979 --> 01:03:33,395 I took the liberty of feeling the bone 1143 01:03:34,017 --> 01:03:35,501 and it is perfectly sound. 1144 01:03:36,433 --> 01:03:39,436 Oh, sir, how will I ever thank you? 1145 01:03:39,712 --> 01:03:41,990 Please do not think of it. 1146 01:03:42,508 --> 01:03:44,337 It is my honour to serve you. 1147 01:03:45,338 --> 01:03:47,237 Will you not be seated? 1148 01:03:47,271 --> 01:03:49,066 Pray, excuse me. 1149 01:03:49,653 --> 01:03:51,551 I do not wish to leave a watermark. 1150 01:03:54,140 --> 01:03:56,246 Permit me to call tomorrow afternoon 1151 01:03:57,419 --> 01:03:59,697 so that I may inquire after you. 1152 01:04:05,151 --> 01:04:06,152 Fight hard. 1153 01:04:06,463 --> 01:04:07,567 Fight for me. 1154 01:04:14,436 --> 01:04:17,370 Alan's pitching me some shitty book movie. 1155 01:04:19,027 --> 01:04:21,581 'The Gold Particles,' the third book in a series. 1156 01:04:23,204 --> 01:04:25,689 That Guy, The Irish Connection, 1157 01:04:25,723 --> 01:04:28,002 moussaka and fucking chips. 1158 01:04:28,036 --> 01:04:29,003 Shit, 1159 01:04:30,038 --> 01:04:31,902 that director is the worst. 1160 01:04:32,213 --> 01:04:33,697 He couldn't even direct traffic. 1161 01:04:34,215 --> 01:04:35,664 You know who he should have come to? 1162 01:04:35,699 --> 01:04:37,390 Me, Tugg Speedman. 1163 01:04:39,530 --> 01:04:40,531 You know him, right, babe? 1164 01:04:55,167 --> 01:04:57,514 Fun and happiness and short supply. 1165 01:04:57,548 --> 01:04:59,723 Out of the frying pan and into the fire. 1166 01:05:00,275 --> 01:05:02,277 It's always difficult when one person moves on. 1167 01:05:02,312 --> 01:05:04,279 Hmm. 1168 01:05:04,314 --> 01:05:05,591 I spoke to dad this morning. 1169 01:05:06,557 --> 01:05:10,665 He's recovering, but no mention of my movie, so. 1170 01:05:10,699 --> 01:05:12,253 Nice guys don't finish last? 1171 01:05:12,287 --> 01:05:13,702 Yeah. 1172 01:05:15,981 --> 01:05:17,499 You're planning something that's going to get me in trouble, 1173 01:05:17,534 --> 01:05:18,604 aren't you? 1174 01:05:18,638 --> 01:05:20,295 Oh, most definitely. 1175 01:05:36,622 --> 01:05:37,692 Why? 1176 01:05:42,490 --> 01:05:44,492 You best move out of the way and let me be. 1177 01:05:44,526 --> 01:05:46,390 This is not how it works. 1178 01:05:47,012 --> 01:05:48,979 Last chance, dumb boys. 1179 01:05:50,325 --> 01:05:51,395 Ha! 1180 01:05:56,331 --> 01:05:57,436 Ha! 1181 01:05:58,609 --> 01:05:59,817 Ha! 1182 01:06:18,836 --> 01:06:20,010 Alan? 1183 01:06:23,289 --> 01:06:25,602 Thank you everyone for the kind words and praise. 1184 01:06:26,258 --> 01:06:29,571 The buffet has been provided by yours truly. 1185 01:06:29,606 --> 01:06:30,710 Fill your guts. 1186 01:06:33,713 --> 01:06:35,370 You really don't have to do this. 1187 01:06:35,405 --> 01:06:37,648 You know they have a meal before the awards. 1188 01:06:37,683 --> 01:06:38,787 These ain't for me. 1189 01:06:52,698 --> 01:06:54,079 Wow. 1190 01:06:54,458 --> 01:06:55,666 That went well. 1191 01:06:55,701 --> 01:06:57,116 Thanks for that. What happened to the group? 1192 01:06:58,635 --> 01:07:00,671 This is the best fun I've had all year. 1193 01:07:06,608 --> 01:07:07,713 What's this? 1194 01:07:08,231 --> 01:07:12,269 Naughty movies or my ransom demands. 1195 01:07:14,168 --> 01:07:18,551 We have a late entry to the film festival, 1196 01:07:18,586 --> 01:07:22,659 and I wanted you to experience it in my full company. 1197 01:07:27,457 --> 01:07:30,253 Late entries are 1198 01:07:30,287 --> 01:07:32,220 highly 1199 01:07:33,601 --> 01:07:34,878 irregular. 1200 01:07:36,776 --> 01:07:38,744 But this could be a lot of fun. 1201 01:07:40,884 --> 01:07:42,230 Well, this is it. 1202 01:07:42,713 --> 01:07:45,751 This is where Iron Mike is staying the night. 1203 01:07:46,545 --> 01:07:49,927 Because, uh, I don't have three iron bathtubs. 1204 01:07:49,962 --> 01:07:51,619 They were all tied together, 1205 01:07:51,653 --> 01:07:53,862 it was really, really, really good, like. 1206 01:07:55,726 --> 01:07:57,556 I don't know what you want me to say. 1207 01:07:57,797 --> 01:07:59,213 Mike's was the best film. 1208 01:07:59,765 --> 01:08:01,353 I have no patience with best. 1209 01:08:01,905 --> 01:08:03,907 I have no patience with fairness. 1210 01:08:03,941 --> 01:08:05,736 Life is not fair. 1211 01:08:05,771 --> 01:08:07,462 Love is not fair. 1212 01:08:08,360 --> 01:08:10,431 And as long as we still breathe the air 1213 01:08:10,465 --> 01:08:13,399 of a free capitalist society. 1214 01:08:13,675 --> 01:08:16,437 Business will never be fair. 1215 01:08:17,472 --> 01:08:19,233 Sacrifice, Alan, 1216 01:08:20,441 --> 01:08:22,753 like the kamikaze pilots used to do. 1217 01:08:23,927 --> 01:08:25,963 Yeah, that's a discomforting stay, isn't it? 1218 01:08:25,998 --> 01:08:27,689 Haemorrhoids cause discomfort. 1219 01:08:28,794 --> 01:08:31,348 This is open heart surgery. 1220 01:08:31,797 --> 01:08:33,247 ] 1221 01:08:36,250 --> 01:08:38,217 Fuck the phone, Alan. 1222 01:08:38,424 --> 01:08:40,564 You said I could produce. 1223 01:08:40,599 --> 01:08:44,948 I'll, knock you the fuck out right here, right now. 1224 01:08:44,982 --> 01:08:46,501 We did the right thing. 1225 01:08:48,227 --> 01:08:49,401 Are you okay? 1226 01:08:51,472 --> 01:08:53,957 Movie stars do not have opinions. 1227 01:08:55,993 --> 01:08:58,272 Sorry. I know you're his dad, 1228 01:08:58,306 --> 01:09:00,619 but Alan worked damn hard throughout this festival. 1229 01:09:00,964 --> 01:09:03,587 And I suppose the bro's code is over 1230 01:09:03,622 --> 01:09:05,693 now your fucking Tugg's wife. 1231 01:09:05,727 --> 01:09:06,901 I think I'm done here. 1232 01:09:09,938 --> 01:09:11,250 We're bloody ruined! 1233 01:09:23,228 --> 01:09:24,194 Alan! 1234 01:09:24,229 --> 01:09:25,471 You know what I'm gonna say? 1235 01:09:25,506 --> 01:09:27,301 Yes, I know your ending, but I'm not being funny, 1236 01:09:27,335 --> 01:09:29,406 the only thing I care about ending is this festival. 1237 01:09:29,441 --> 01:09:31,201 Eyes front. 1238 01:09:31,236 --> 01:09:33,514 God, does making movies have to be all this difficult? 1239 01:09:34,031 --> 01:09:35,619 I'm looking forward to this. 1240 01:09:35,654 --> 01:09:36,896 Who's doing your presentation? 1241 01:09:37,276 --> 01:09:38,312 Hope it's a surprise. 1242 01:09:38,346 --> 01:09:39,520 Oh. Me too. 1243 01:09:39,865 --> 01:09:40,900 If she shows up. 1244 01:09:40,935 --> 01:09:42,212 - Hmm? - Hmm. 1245 01:09:42,247 --> 01:09:43,386 Hmm. 1246 01:09:43,420 --> 01:09:45,250 I do love surprises. 1247 01:09:57,434 --> 01:09:58,918 Ladies and gentlemen, 1248 01:09:58,953 --> 01:10:01,542 please put your hands together for our wonderful guest speaker, 1249 01:10:01,576 --> 01:10:02,646 Caroline Doherty. 1250 01:10:08,928 --> 01:10:11,759 So very glad to be here this evening 1251 01:10:11,793 --> 01:10:15,521 amongst all the wonderful filmmakers and stars. 1252 01:10:16,350 --> 01:10:18,973 To be a filmmaker, you have to be psychotic 1253 01:10:19,007 --> 01:10:20,664 in your desire to do something. 1254 01:10:21,734 --> 01:10:23,909 For the first category. 1255 01:10:23,943 --> 01:10:27,015 Best actress in a Feature film; 1256 01:10:27,602 --> 01:10:30,260 Millie Ward 'Malicious Intent.' 1257 01:10:33,298 --> 01:10:36,335 Esme Presley in 'Gods of Shoreditch.' 1258 01:10:39,752 --> 01:10:42,790 And Fran Walsh in 'Hey Mr. DJ.' 1259 01:10:46,000 --> 01:10:47,277 And the winner is... 1260 01:10:47,657 --> 01:10:48,692 This is just the start. 1261 01:10:48,934 --> 01:10:50,107 Esme Presley. 1262 01:10:55,768 --> 01:10:57,011 So very well done. 1263 01:10:57,425 --> 01:11:01,429 I would like to show my immense gratitude 1264 01:11:01,464 --> 01:11:04,743 to all of the team involved in 'Gods.' 1265 01:11:09,989 --> 01:11:13,924 And for our first Best Picture nominee, we have; 1266 01:11:13,959 --> 01:11:15,098 'Hey, Mr. DJ.' 1267 01:11:15,132 --> 01:11:16,789 You didn't think to thank me? 1268 01:11:16,824 --> 01:11:18,688 The man who made it all happen. 1269 01:11:18,722 --> 01:11:20,966 A film about a time in the 90s 1270 01:11:21,000 --> 01:11:25,108 where DJs were gods and gangsters ruled the streets. 1271 01:11:25,142 --> 01:11:27,455 Your ego will be stroked enough tonight. 1272 01:11:27,490 --> 01:11:28,456 Let's have a look. 1273 01:11:34,048 --> 01:11:35,463 What did you throw there? 1274 01:11:35,981 --> 01:11:38,535 Just, uh, just some bags I was storing stuff in. 1275 01:11:40,882 --> 01:11:42,505 Right, get yourself freshened up. 1276 01:11:42,539 --> 01:11:43,989 Got a great place for us to go to. 1277 01:11:44,023 --> 01:11:45,473 Oscar, I'm not feeling up to it. 1278 01:11:45,508 --> 01:11:47,924 Hey, you're single now, remember? 1279 01:11:47,958 --> 01:11:49,339 Half an hour, we're off. 1280 01:11:50,961 --> 01:11:55,483 And the next category is Best newcomer nominees. 1281 01:11:55,518 --> 01:11:58,106 Lin Cheng for 'Opera and the Evening Garden.' 1282 01:11:59,211 --> 01:12:01,800 Millie Ward for 'Malicious Intent.' 1283 01:12:02,801 --> 01:12:06,770 and Jess Bronski in 'Mysterious.' 1284 01:12:07,668 --> 01:12:11,603 And the winner is Millie Ward in 'Malicious Intent.' 1285 01:12:17,609 --> 01:12:19,196 Oh my God, I don't even know what to say. 1286 01:12:19,231 --> 01:12:22,061 Um, thank you so much to the festival. 1287 01:12:22,476 --> 01:12:25,444 Thank you so much to everyone that I've met. 1288 01:12:25,479 --> 01:12:29,414 And if you would like to come for drinks afterwards, 1289 01:12:29,655 --> 01:12:31,450 then, uh, meet me at seven. 1290 01:12:31,485 --> 01:12:33,452 She knows how proud I am of her, don't you? 1291 01:12:34,108 --> 01:12:37,387 Hey, I was nervous, and I got one. 1292 01:12:37,663 --> 01:12:40,148 I mean, it looks like roughly the right shape. 1293 01:12:40,183 --> 01:12:41,943 I mean, it's gonna save me a ton of batteries. 1294 01:12:43,911 --> 01:12:48,467 And our next best film nominee is for 'Malicious intent.' 1295 01:13:05,484 --> 01:13:09,074 And the next category is Best Editing nominees. 1296 01:13:10,075 --> 01:13:13,216 We have Emmet Bronski in 'Mysterious.' 1297 01:13:13,906 --> 01:13:16,530 Tugg Speedman for 'Gods of Shoreditch,' 1298 01:13:17,600 --> 01:13:20,706 George Cheng for 'Opera in the Evening Garden,' 1299 01:13:22,121 --> 01:13:24,261 and the winner is... 1300 01:13:24,296 --> 01:13:25,780 Well, this is a vindication 1301 01:13:25,815 --> 01:13:27,782 considering no one saw the ending. 1302 01:13:28,507 --> 01:13:32,131 And our third best film nominee is 'Gods of Shoreditch,' 1303 01:13:32,166 --> 01:13:35,411 a story about time travelling gangsters. 1304 01:13:36,550 --> 01:13:39,276 By night, one way by day another. 1305 01:13:39,311 --> 01:13:40,554 This shall be the norm. 1306 01:13:41,037 --> 01:13:43,591 Until you take true love's first kiss. 1307 01:13:44,040 --> 01:13:46,076 And love takes its true form. 1308 01:13:50,633 --> 01:13:52,151 Is there no one else? 1309 01:13:54,326 --> 01:13:56,880 And a rather exciting category. 1310 01:13:56,915 --> 01:13:58,917 Best actor nominees: 1311 01:13:58,951 --> 01:14:02,921 We have George Cheng in 'Opera and the Evening Garden.' 1312 01:14:05,337 --> 01:14:08,167 Ashraf Ward in 'Malicious Intent.' 1313 01:14:10,515 --> 01:14:13,069 Tugg Speedman in 'Gods of Shoreditch.' 1314 01:14:16,210 --> 01:14:17,280 And the winner is... 1315 01:14:18,039 --> 01:14:19,282 Tugg Speedman 1316 01:14:21,042 --> 01:14:22,078 Gutted, mate. 1317 01:14:22,527 --> 01:14:23,666 Proper gutted. 1318 01:14:24,598 --> 01:14:26,185 I honestly thought I was in with a shout. 1319 01:14:28,049 --> 01:14:29,085 Me too. 1320 01:14:29,637 --> 01:14:30,983 I was the best actor. 1321 01:14:31,190 --> 01:14:34,297 And our fourth best film nominee... 1322 01:14:34,331 --> 01:14:37,093 I didn't know nothing about no fourth nomination. 1323 01:14:37,127 --> 01:14:41,166 ...is a work of modern day art versus immense need. 1324 01:14:41,200 --> 01:14:43,168 Now let's have a look at 1325 01:14:43,202 --> 01:14:45,791 'Homelessness and the Man' by Mike Read. 1326 01:14:46,171 --> 01:14:47,931 So there's certain things that you would do, 1327 01:14:47,966 --> 01:14:49,588 well certain things you look for 1328 01:14:49,623 --> 01:14:52,488 like shopping centre pounds in the trollies. 1329 01:14:52,729 --> 01:14:53,972 That's a pound, like. 1330 01:14:54,006 --> 01:14:55,042 A pound's like... 1331 01:14:57,596 --> 01:14:59,115 £200. 1332 01:14:59,149 --> 01:15:01,911 And we're down to the final award of the evening. 1333 01:15:01,945 --> 01:15:04,776 Best overall film of the festival. 1334 01:15:05,224 --> 01:15:06,294 And the winner is... 1335 01:15:07,123 --> 01:15:09,228 Hardly a win if you paid for it. 1336 01:15:11,230 --> 01:15:12,611 Mike Read. 1337 01:15:24,589 --> 01:15:25,831 What's going on? 1338 01:15:25,866 --> 01:15:28,351 Well, looks like Mike just won best film, Tugg. 1339 01:15:28,938 --> 01:15:30,664 You're fucking... 1340 01:15:30,698 --> 01:15:31,699 Thanks and everything. 1341 01:15:32,320 --> 01:15:33,943 The beds are really comfortable. 1342 01:15:38,603 --> 01:15:39,673 This isn't right! 1343 01:15:41,329 --> 01:15:43,711 The film wasn't even in the programme! 1344 01:15:43,746 --> 01:15:45,989 What the hell even is this fucking shit film? 1345 01:15:46,024 --> 01:15:48,302 My daddy paid for all of this. 1346 01:15:48,336 --> 01:15:50,269 What are you talking about? 1347 01:15:50,304 --> 01:15:51,547 This was all paid for. 1348 01:15:52,444 --> 01:15:53,894 No, not him. 1349 01:15:53,928 --> 01:15:55,861 That's just a shit actor. 1350 01:15:56,137 --> 01:15:57,414 This is outrageous. 1351 01:15:57,449 --> 01:15:59,175 I knew something was wrong. 1352 01:16:01,280 --> 01:16:02,696 Okay. 1353 01:16:02,730 --> 01:16:04,974 I thought he was pretty convincing. 1354 01:16:05,008 --> 01:16:07,735 You falsified records. 1355 01:16:07,770 --> 01:16:09,254 There may well be charges. 1356 01:16:09,703 --> 01:16:11,049 What charges? 1357 01:16:11,083 --> 01:16:12,637 No, no, no, please, all right, look, I'm sorry. 1358 01:16:12,671 --> 01:16:13,914 This whole thing was my fault. 1359 01:16:13,948 --> 01:16:16,882 Don't punish or charge anyone else. 1360 01:16:16,917 --> 01:16:19,229 My dad, Gabriel guy from the phone 1361 01:16:19,264 --> 01:16:21,231 had a massive heart attack. 1362 01:16:21,266 --> 01:16:23,958 And he had so much money invested in this festival. 1363 01:16:24,303 --> 01:16:27,341 And is Tugg Speedman telling the truth? 1364 01:16:27,686 --> 01:16:30,068 Technically, yes, most of it was his money. 1365 01:16:30,102 --> 01:16:31,725 His father's money. 1366 01:16:31,759 --> 01:16:33,727 Yes, but we went with our hearts. 1367 01:16:33,761 --> 01:16:35,867 And that's why Mike won Best Film. 1368 01:16:36,419 --> 01:16:38,214 I don't judge the films. 1369 01:16:38,248 --> 01:16:39,629 I'm merely here to make sure 1370 01:16:39,664 --> 01:16:41,666 that the festival is run properly. 1371 01:16:41,700 --> 01:16:45,428 From what you're telling me, this has been an absolute farce. 1372 01:16:53,125 --> 01:16:56,370 Mr. adjudicator, excuse me for interrupting. 1373 01:16:56,404 --> 01:16:59,718 I have known Esmé a long time, 1374 01:16:59,753 --> 01:17:02,134 and, well, if my word has any bearing, 1375 01:17:03,446 --> 01:17:04,620 Esmé, 1376 01:17:05,206 --> 01:17:07,899 she always speaks from her heart. 1377 01:17:07,933 --> 01:17:09,314 Miss Warren. 1378 01:17:11,247 --> 01:17:12,662 Whoa, whoa. 1379 01:17:15,458 --> 01:17:16,701 Warren, 1380 01:17:18,047 --> 01:17:21,878 I am a huge fan of your movies. 1381 01:17:23,190 --> 01:17:27,781 And your words do carry significant weight. 1382 01:17:27,815 --> 01:17:30,507 But this is an official matter. 1383 01:17:30,542 --> 01:17:33,062 Mm. I fully understand that. 1384 01:17:34,511 --> 01:17:39,309 But if Esmé says that 'Homeless Man' is the best film, 1385 01:17:42,312 --> 01:17:43,486 I would not disagree. 1386 01:17:45,212 --> 01:17:46,489 Thank you Rachel. 1387 01:17:47,317 --> 01:17:48,491 You're welcome. 1388 01:18:13,274 --> 01:18:16,277 Producers, erm, is this jacket okay? 1389 01:18:16,312 --> 01:18:17,934 It feels a bit big. 1390 01:18:20,972 --> 01:18:23,043 Sometimes you just got to take the chances. 1391 01:18:24,044 --> 01:18:25,493 Do you regret taking a chance on me? 1392 01:18:26,149 --> 01:18:28,186 Who am I to argue with the producer? 1393 01:18:32,880 --> 01:18:34,019 Do you Miss Tugg? 1394 01:18:35,572 --> 01:18:37,747 Wherever he is and whatever he's doing, 1395 01:18:37,782 --> 01:18:39,749 let's just hope he's not missing us. 1396 01:18:51,519 --> 01:18:53,280 Total submission bitches. 1397 01:18:55,144 --> 01:18:56,421 Is this gonna hurt? 1398 01:18:56,455 --> 01:18:58,009 True love is pain. 1399 01:19:54,513 --> 01:19:55,583 Turn over. 1400 01:19:56,377 --> 01:19:57,965 And action! 1401 01:20:03,039 --> 01:20:05,283 I'm not playing a streetwalker. 1402 01:20:05,317 --> 01:20:07,078 It's a tart with a heart. 1403 01:20:07,112 --> 01:20:08,286 Would a second rate streetwalker 1404 01:20:08,320 --> 01:20:09,321 wear an outfit like this 1405 01:20:09,356 --> 01:20:11,254 I'm first class. Won best newcomer. 1406 01:20:11,461 --> 01:20:13,636 Just do it how it's written, please, babe. 1407 01:20:15,707 --> 01:20:17,295 Idiot! 1408 01:20:19,504 --> 01:20:23,094 You know the saying never work with children or animals. 1409 01:20:24,336 --> 01:20:25,613 He loves me really. 1410 01:20:26,407 --> 01:20:27,615 Proper diva. 1411 01:21:45,141 --> 01:21:48,489 Some beautiful paths can't be discovered without getting lost. 1412 01:21:50,388 --> 01:21:52,286 I never did thank you, did I? 1413 01:21:56,704 --> 01:21:58,327 Emmet. 1414 01:22:01,330 --> 01:22:02,400 I've got something for you. 1415 01:22:02,434 --> 01:22:05,334 Oh, God. Please do not kidnap me now. 1416 01:22:05,368 --> 01:22:06,473 You'll like this. 1417 01:22:10,132 --> 01:22:11,443 Oh, please. 1418 01:22:11,478 --> 01:22:13,445 He did it to himself when we went back on his word. 1419 01:22:15,240 --> 01:22:16,310 You're welcome. 1420 01:22:18,174 --> 01:22:20,556 Why did you just not leave us alone? 1421 01:22:22,006 --> 01:22:24,422 We told you time and time again. 1422 01:22:24,456 --> 01:22:26,734 But you still didn't listen to your sister. 1423 01:22:30,669 --> 01:22:32,085 Oh, okay.